100. Mother-Daughter Journey: Stuck
The elderly, those who are just plain OLD and not ill, can reach the age when their income (Social Security, pension, benefits, etc.) does not pay the rent, does not pay for expenses. AND, if an aide is needed, and if the hours can’t be extended through “community medicaid” (so that one can age-in-place), you are on your own.
Here is the bottom line: The aide, will cost a minimum of $600 more a month, out-of-pocket (likely from the pocket of the aging children of the elderly.)
The choice will ultimately be a NURSING HOME, or more hours to supply an aide to age-in-place. The former would cost the state about $20-$30,000/month the latter would cost about $20/hr for an aide. The state chooses a nursing home. Doesn’t charging the people of NYS make more sense?
Put my mom in one of those and it is instant death. For her and for me.
I called a local elder attorney and spoke to a para-legal who kindly listened and then offered: “I have never heard of a person on Community Medicaid getting more than eight hours.”
The social worker in my mother’s building, stated “I never heard of that limit to hours.” thus, we have two opposite bits of information.
I’ve been talking ’til I am blue in the face. I have been researching daily. I am talking and advocating until I feel demented. I am thinking day and night about how to fix this for my mother and for others. About how to save my own social security. Because ultimately, ultimately if this is not fixed, my age group will be dealing with this.
It’s fight or flight. I don’t give up. But I gotta tell ya: I am freaking tired.
After seven fruitless months on the phone advocating for my mother, feeling beaten down and helpless, feeling fearful for myself for when I might be, like my mother, ninety-nine years old and running out of money, I called my state assemblyman’s office where a worker listened to my plight and took notes.
“I’ve never heard anything like this.” he said. Sound familiar? This, meaning, “the entire above situation.”
The likely reason why is that people stop complaining. They give up after being beaten to a pulp of brain and weakened muscle. My feeling is: that is exactly what the agencies want. Give up, drop dead.
The end result of this call, what is supposed to transpire, is a call to a social worker and a call-back to me by this worker or this social worker social worker. Another social worker.
The one in my mother’s building is trying to get my mother into a program where twelve hours are covered. I am playing the waiting game.
I hired another social worker to visit my mother and see what is going on and to offer some kind of talk therapy.
The social worker at the managed care who stepped in to cover for the one on the team was supposed to re-open the case and send in a nurse for a re-evaluation. It hasn’t happened. And, by the way, I have requested a new case manager so as to not have to deal with the one I was assigned to who had some missing body parts: ears and a heart.
Everyone has good intentions but I am getting nowhere.
I have been advocating for 10 years, now.
I am ready to march up to Albany … but according to the assemblyman’s worker who took my call, “it is not back in session until January.
That gives me plenty of time but I am concerned about the draining of money.
You are advocating for many, not just your Mom.
I feel for you <3
OMG. What a horrible plight and one I’m afraid of. It sounds like you got caught in a most horrible situation. ❤️😘❤️💋