A special “thank you,” to Tyler, who was the impetus for me to write this poem.
I had thought I completed this series in 2002, but when he said he anticipated the 5th poem, I thought, “uh oh!” I better get out of my “dry spell” and get to work.
I  highly recommend him if you are suffering from “writer’s block.”

The poems in this series are:
1. Skin
2. Take The “A” Train
3. Hail Mary
4. Theft
5. Flaws

 

5.

Flaws

I sat on the “A” train; the last seat

next to the door

and the conductor’s booth

guarding the prize of my life

on the run up to Harlem.

My left hand was clenched shut;

my ring finger was bent to the palm

sweating with its neighbors,

tight, beneath the thumb.

The train sped express between 59^th Street

and 125^th Street, screeching along curved metal

its toothy windows rattling,

lights blinking as we passed over small expanses

of dead track.

In the flashes of dark I opened my hand–

as if holding a butterfly that might escape,

or a tiny frog that might leap out of my grip,

or more realistically to check that “it” was still there

and protected from culprits who might want to

make off with it.

In the small expanse of offered light,

for the nanoseconds it was fed,

facets bounced and played, made sparks,

like the metal wheels against metal rails.

When the cold bulbs reignited the voyage

I gently splayed my fingers

like a blooming peony,

or water lily, 

and the pistil became a diamond

turned inward on my ring finger,

at the top of my palm,

wet; it’s mirror image

of prongs and pear shape

impressed into my

fingertips.

I was on my way to the South Campus;

it was a long hike up a steep hill on 125^th Street

that made me pant against my history book

and my French Literature,

breathless with fatigue and fear;

well before the Harlem Renaissance,

my route was lined with tenements, derelicts,

broken bottles,

men hanging out on stoops.

Weeds growing through chain link fences.

Finally, when the gates opened to castles, moats, and grass

I was breathless with giddiness, joy, youth.

On my way to class, in the middle of the city–

in the depths of a poverty area

in 1966,

wearing an uninsured

pear-shaped diamond engagement ring

that I had just gotten the day before.

I was 18 years old.

I would be married at 19.

Soon after, the shape of the stone

in my ring would strangely

shift from pear to tear;

And upon close examination

one could see several grains of carbon

within, and a chip

along the side.

****

Cloud Nine Lyrics Artist(Band):The Temptations

Dennis: The childhood part of my life Wasn’t very pretty, see…
Temptations: Boom, boom-boom, boom
Dennis: I was born and raised In the slums of the city,
Temptations: Boom, boom-boom, boom
Dennis: It was a one-room shack That slept ten other children beside me,
Temptations: Boom, boom-boom, boom
Dennis: We hardly enough food Or room to sleep
Temptations: Boom, boom-boom, boom
Dennis: It was hard times… I needed somethin’ to ease my troubled mind
Paul: Hmmmm listen… My father didn’t know the meaning of work
Temptations: Boom, boom-boom, boom
Paul: He disrespected mama, And treated us like dirt
Temptations: Boom, boom-boom, boom
Paul: I left home seeking a job That I never did find
Temptations: Boom, boom-boom, boom
Paul: Depressed and down-hearted And I took to cloud nine
Temptations: Boom, boom-boom, boom
Paul: I’m doing fine Up here, on cloud nine
Paul: Listen, one more time
Paul: I’m doing fine Up here, on cloud nine
Dennis: Folks down there tell me…
Dennis: They say give yourself a chance,son, don’t let life pass you by,
Temptations: Woo, woo, woo-oo
Dennis: that the world of reality’s a rat race Where only the strongest survive, It’s a dog-eat-dog world And that ain’t no lie, Temptations: Ain’t no lie
Dennis: It ain’t even safe no more To walk the streets at night
Eddie: I’m doing fine
Temptations: On cloud nine
Dennis: Let me tell you ’bout cloud nine…
Temptations: Cloud nine
Paul: You can be what you want to be
Temptations: Cloud Nine
Dennis: You ain’t got no responsibility
Temptations: Cloud Nine
Eddie: And every man, every man is free
Temptations: Cloud nine
Dennis: You’re a million miles from reality
Otis: Reality
Temptations: I wanna’ stay up
Eddie and Otis: Higher
Temptations: Up up, Up and away
Temptations: Cloud nine
Eddie: I wanna’ say I love the life I live, And I’m going to
Eddie/Otis: live, the life I love
Eddie: Up here on cloud nine… I, I, I, I, I, I’m ridin’ high
Temptations: On cloud nine
Dennis: You’re as free as a bird in flight
Temptations: Cloud nine
Melvin: There’s no difference between day and night
Temptations: Cloud nine
Eddie: It’s a world of love and harmony
Temptations: Cloud nine
Dennis: You’re a million miles from reality
Otis: Reality
Temptations: I wanna’ stay up
Eddie and Otis: Higher
Temptations: Up up, up and away
Temptations: Cloud Nine
Paul: You can be what you want to be, ah
Temptations: Cloud nine
Dennis: You ain’t got no responsibility
Temptations: Cloud nine
Eddie: Every man in his mind is free
Temptations: Cloud nine
Dennis: You’re a million miles from reality
Temptations: Cloud nine
Paul: You can be what you want to be
Comments from the parallel blog universe at Yahoo:

I know little of big cities and your writing lets me feel that experience. How beautiful that you could share your personal experience “from pear to tear” in such a unique way. I really felt the intense feeling of protection in your words. So many of us that blog here were young and we thought marriages would last forever. we had no idea how our lives would be changed. But we have grown past the scars and that is the good thing. Thanks for sharing.

your writing is so expressive and I am as always transported to another time and place with your words. Amazing!