I had a very strange week, last week, it baffled me and tackled me technologically, it created a low level of subconscious stress, as this weekend was my beloved nephew’s Bar Mitzvah and I had to work out details of my son’s coming home from college and his subsequent return, the clothing issues—the finding of panty hose that would not edge down below my knees, the fear of 5 inch heels that had to go up 3 stone stairs to participate in the ceremony, on and on, all things quotidian.

Then my sister called my attention to an avatar of Hitler and a swastika, that although was a benign presence on her page, it WAS a presence on her page. Just looking, but there. A profane mockery of the oncoming Bar Mitzvah, a sacred day for youngsters who turn 13 and who, for thousands of years, have been celebrated as a young adult. “Hitler’s” presence became a reminder of the awful events not so many years ago, and they were colliding with the present upcoming family event.

Multiply was notified but didn’t respond the way we had hoped. The avatar, though it represented the most frightening, inhumane large scale time in recent history, and perhaps not so recent history, was not “doing anything” that warranted removal.

So I blogged. I posted the avatar and the pictures from this person’s photo album—all Third Reich propaganda photos. I felt like I was being sucked back into time and had to flight for my life. The phrase, “Never Again!” never left my head.

I stormed onto the person’s page, others followed suit, leaving furious comments. I got well over 350 comments and discussions on my blog. Debates ensued, the truth was sought. In fact it was similar to what goes on in the study of the Torah. My blog became a large study of truth seeking from all angles: moral, legal, and ethical.

But Multiply deferred to freedom of speech, and if that was the case, what was stopping me from taking action myself?

I contacted a commenter on the Hitler-avatar’s guestbook; if what he says is true, he and the offensive avatar are from nearby villages in Bali. “I am just a young man who likes video games,” he said, and “I am unemployed.” He told me the avatar’s real name and to my surprise, he lives a matter of miles from me.

I wrote a personal message to the avatar in question and explained why I was angry, offered to explain to great lengths the history of the avatar he had chosen and why it was so offensive to so many people. I told him I lost family because of the man whose likeness he chose to represent him.

I begged him to remove the avatar. And that’s how it was left.

This morning my nephew made me very proud. He was part of an age old tradition of coming of age. He had to study for years, learn Hebrew, recite prayers. He also had to perform good deeds. We call them mitzvot. He did magic shows for handicapped children and the elderly in nursing homes. He worked to feed the hungry.

We recognized him and all his hard work. And then the rabbi presented his sermon which I feel is very timely:

“Just the other night I was with a group of congregants and we had a discussion about the meaning and purpose of being Jewish. And the one idea that we all seemed to share is that being Jewish has much to do with trying to make this a better and kinder world…a world in which we “beat our swords into ploughshares” and pursue the way of goodness and blessing for all people. (Certainly that is the primary message that we want all of our Bar and Bat Mitzvah children to appreciate and embrace.)

And so this new story that I came upon just the other morning. It was months ago in Prague’s historic Jewish quarter when a sizeable group of neo-Nazis planned a demonstration on the anniversary of Kristallnacht, that ugly and brazen night of “broken glass” when Jews were viciously attacked throughout Germany and other places and told “you are not wanted here.”

But this time, thousands of Czechs filled the streets to protest against the neo-nazi demonstration in a large and emotional show of solidarity with the country’s Jewish population. Yes masses of non-Jews marched the streets, many wearing yellow Stars of David inscribed with the word “Jude,” and all declaring their disdain for bigotry and anti-Semitism.

Noteworthy was a former Czech interior minister, Frantisek Bublan, who once was a Catholic priest, and who wore a yellow Star of David on his lapel during an interview on the country’s most watched TV news show.

Once Czech Jew who survived a Nazi concentration camp said she was strengthened by the sight of her fellow citizens standing up for her. “Two weeks before this day I couldn’t sleep and had terrible dreams,” said Zuzana Rizickova, who survived Terezin. “It’s something extraordinary to see so many people come out and support the Jewish Community.” Or there was Thomas Homula who was among the Jews who marched to the city’s famed old Synagogue wearing the yellow Star Of David. Homula, who brought his 14-year old daughter, is the son of a Holocaust survivor. And in his words: “We are not afraid today to show the extremists they are unwelcome; we wear this star today with pride and not with fear.”

Why this story did not receive more attention here three months ago, I do not know. But I do know that among the worst human sins, worse than hating our fellow human beings, is being indifferent to their pain and suffering.

Says this ancient scroll: “you shall not follow a multitude to do evil.” And said our early sages: “In a place where no one behaves as befits a human being, you must strive to be human and humane.”

The Torah tells this week of the completion of the first sanctuary…and of Moses continuing to instruct the people in the moral teachings and compassionate ideals of the Torah.

So as we are assembled here this morning, let us affirm that those ancient teachings about morality and human decency still speak so much to our hopes and visions for our world.

Yes, the way of life of this people is both the oldest and the newest as it is a hope for all humanity. “

Rabbi David Greenberg,

Temple Shaaray Tefila

New York

March 8, 2008

When I came home just a few hours ago, I was thinking of the sermon and how important it was. I thought about how life passes quickly and how loving relationships are so important. I had deep feelings of gratitude toward the many people who I have never met, who surrounded me on my blog and rallied around my righteous indignation. And stood next to me.

I am dedicating this blog to my loving nephew.

I am also dedicating it to “enigma” who took on the likeness of Hitler and the swastika. His avatar is now a sweet turtle. On his comments he said he changed it just for Sans Souci. I left him a message of gratitude and a few tears. Anyone open to change should be recognized. He did the right thing.

It rained all day, but it was beautiful.

Comments from the parallel universe on Yahoo.

I applaud your efforts and your willingness to take a stand. Edmund Burke has oft been misquoted as saying “All it takes for evil to flourish is for good men to do nothing” – the actual quote has a similar idea, but that’s beside the point – what you have done is to do what was necessary to stop an evil, even if it might have been unwitting evil. I hope that “enigma” understands a bit better now and will stick with the sweet turtle or other less-controversial images.

This reminds me a little of a time when I was teaching and some girls complained about a boy calling them something nasty in Spanish. It turned out that the boy was Vietnamese and didn’t even know what the word meant – he had just heard others use it and he was upset at the girls. When I told him what it meant he about had an attack – he was completely embarrassed and upset, and apologized to the girls. I hope this was a similar situation.

reply aladybug wrote on Mar 8, ’08 Oh, these are GREAT news!Love is more powerful than the use of force! This has been a great example, and a great thing! Your blog made me think of many other things. Respect and tolerance for difference does not only refer to race or culture. We also fall into the same trap when we are unwilling to listen to others. To respect different opinions, different points of view. We also fall into the same trap when we dismiss others opinions for not having the same eduction as ours. Or for not knowing as much. I think in the end all of that is intolerance. It has many faces. Something I dislike. This was an excellent example, and above all an excellent way of understanding spirituality, which is very important these days. Words are powerful; trying to reach out and understand others. As well as being humble. Happy Bar Mitzvah!!! Hugs! 🙂

reply hurricanekate wrote on Mar 8, ’08, edited on Mar 8, ’08 As always Frida speaks with such grace. You handled the situation with the same grace and held fast to integrity and what you believe.I don’t think there is much I can say that the two of you here have not. I can say I look at you with the greatest respect and hold you in the highest regard. I most definitely do. You are a woman strong, who in the midst of all things spoke to someone offering understanding and perhaps new insight, giving him the benefit of the doubt or maybe his was the mistake of ignorance, he did indeed given the opportunity do the right thing with the information provided to him by you, did just that. Well done. much love.

reply hurricanekate wrote on Mar 8, ’08 sanssouciblogs said “In a place where no one behaves as befits a human being, you must strive to be human and humane.” and that is exactly what you did.

editdeletereply lauritasita wrote on Mar 8, ’08 “The opposite of love is not hate, but indifference; the opposite of beauty is not ugliness, but indifference; the opposite of learning is not ignorance, but indifference; Hatred cannot be anything but evil. Hatred contaminates me. We cannot give in to hatred; To preserve humanity we must fight indifference.”— Elie Weisel, Holocaust survivor I’m glad you had a meaningful experience today at Matthew’s Bar Mitzvah. So did I. ~ Laurita

editdeletereply lauritasita wrote on Mar 8, ’08 “There are many educated, smart people in the world, but there are not enough kind, compassionate people in the world. We need more people like that.” ~ Rabbi David Greenberg

editdeletereply lauritasita wrote on Mar 8, ’08 I’m glad enigma saw the light.

reply 7jewel wrote on Mar 8, ’08 A kinder world is a worthy cause. Kindness is sent to all regardless of race and religion and not because of it. Humankind is a global cause. xxx love to you Sweet and Congratulations & best wishes to your nephew and son xx

editdeletereply lauritasita wrote on Mar 8, ’08 Please also read:http://lauritasita.multiply.com/journal/item/512/The_Righteous_Gentile

reply gilesy01 wrote on Mar 8, ’08 Well done.

reply mindsnomad wrote on Mar 8, ’08 Congratulations to your nephew. Good Job.

reply philsgal7759 wrote on Mar 8, ’08 It is sad he really didn’t know Good job educating him.

reply philsgal7759 wrote on Mar 8, ’08 CONGRATULATIONS to your nephew

reply strongwilledwoman wrote on Mar 9, ’08 You my friend are an inspiration to us all, and what a wonderful tribute to your nephew and son.

reply strongwilledwoman wrote on Mar 9, ’08 I celebrate you and all the women in your life today.

reply starfishred wrote on Mar 9, ’08, edited on Mar 9, ’08 In german the word is GLEICHGÜlTIGKEIT and that is worse than anything I can imagine and we must all guard against thatI am glad it worked out and I let my friend know and he was glad too because most of the time it is hard to figure this out but it still will have consequences for this person from the german point of view. Glad all turned out will for your nephew and he had a good day and it seems he has a very good start into manhood and especially with an aunt like you and a mother like your sis and his grandma

reply hadenough1 wrote on Mar 9, ’08 Oh Sans–Your ending turned out well. I wish it always did,Thousands of People kept loyal to their faith and stayed neutral in political affairs, despite even the cruelest persecution. How could they endure? From where did they get the strength to do so? This part of history we should NEVER FORGET. Its a lesson for all of us. It was more many years ago that Hitler’s monstrous 12-year reign of racism and murder came to an end. Yet, that Nazi regime inflicted wounds that grieve humanity to this day.You just blogged one. And it is only one of many examples. Their courageous stand is well documented by respected historians. Hard to believe some deny it even happened. We have survivors alive yet–but they will not be around forever and I worry what will people try to say when their are no first hand wittiness. Great blog–NEVER FORGET We must remember not all will always be willing to change–but we all must never remain silent to wrong and pretend we don’t see it. We must all speak out against all wrong and not play the goody goody that so many would like see you do. It is a battle of right and wrong. Gald you spoke out.

reply hadenough1 wrote on Mar 9, ’08 Oh and best wishes to you nephew. Looks like he has good support and direction to start him on a good path to his adult life

reply mystied wrote on Mar 9, ’08 I’d read this blog yesterday and then took the time to reflect on the serendipitous nature of the lessons learned for all. Good may not always triumph over bad in ways that we can see, it’s enough to have faith that it will eventually.Congratulations to your nephew!! Ps..Hope you found those nylons you were looking for, I hate when that happens and you feel like your thighs are restricted in movement…walk like Frankenstein time. Ack.

reply redheadgirl4 wrote on Mar 10, ’08 First and foremost, Sue, thank you for sharing this beautiful story with us. The talk the Rabbi gave was amazing! I had not heard that story before, and it moved me to tears. It’s as it should be — all members of the human race, standing side by side against hatred and aggression. What a wonderful story!I did not know that person changed the avatar. Good for you for having the courage and articulate ability to make him see the effect of what he had done. It certainly means it’s a lasting lesson for him, not just to have to take down that avatar, but to understand what it meant that he posted it. And that kind of long-term education is our best tool against hatred. Your blog had many unexpected outcomes, some of which were personally shocking to me, and some of which left me feeling very discouraged, and through some of the discussion among the various people who visited, with a distinct feeling that truth may not be the commodity I thought. But if it had this overall outcome, then I will say it was all well worth it. And the timing gives me chills to think about. Your nephew sounds like an amazing young man. I can understand your pride in him, and I feel proud of him too. I’m so glad you had such a wonderful, important family experience. As I told you before, Sue, I am leaving Multiply. I am thrilled, though to be able to leave on a note like this. Somehow it gives me a feeling that there is a hope for a better tomorrow. And I am proud of both you, and of your nephew, for showing us all that. My very, very best wishes to him, and to you. Thank you for this blog. I can’t tell you how much it meant to me. Big, big hugs, and my best wishes to you and your family! And thank you for your unwavering friendship Sue, and for making this place sparkle as you have.

reply opossumd wrote on Mar 10, ’08 This is proof that the world can be changed for the better. You are a beacon for us all, Sue, a shining example. Against indifference, humanity’s greatest enemy – in the words of Elie Weisel’s – you have shown your courage, your passion, your rightful indignation. You have taught us a strong lesson that I’ll never forget and I’m very grateful, my friend. You have scored an important victory. Brava Susanna!

reply papahere wrote on Mar 12, ’08 Sue…I have often wondered if mankind has reached a stage of life calling for a Bar Mitzvah? ~ Papa

reply annedigitalis wrote on Mar 12, ’08 The sad fact is that this sort of thing is still going on today, they call it ethnic cleansing now, guess that sounds better, less disturbing than Holocaust or genocide. Somehow we should be less disturbed? Guess it makes it easier to digest the news at dinner time. It’s good you took the time to explain how the face of Hitler is disturbing, to humanize the genocide for someone who was ignorant of it. I believe we all need that, with the amount of senseless killing we are exposed to on a regular basis it can all become a blur. Cambodia, Bosnia, Rwanda, Darfur, Somalia, its easy to become overwhelmed and to turn off the switch to your soul so you don’t die a little for each of the millions that are tortured and slaughtered. People become distant as a matter of self-protection. Given one face to focus on however we can then safely comprehend the destruction of the human race.

reply seth360 wrote on Mar 12, ’08 Sue, I just now had a chance to read your blog…I was a part of that avatar discussion the other night and I’m so pleased to hear that logic and reason overcame ignorance and hate…. I’ll say this about your nephews Bar Mitzvah, he certainly picked a memorable day weatherwize for it…. So tell me was there kasha served?

reply furnasher wrote on Dec 4, ’09 awesome article I love it.thank you.penegra