The Williamsbridge Subway Station near Pelham Parkway in the Bronx where I picked up the Dyre Avenue Line for 7 years.

The way it used to look:

Subway Map

Thoughts pull me back to my New York subway days. New York City is a public transportation town unless you live in the borough of Brooklyn, Queens, Staten Island or the Bronx, where there is more breathing room and a place to park.
I lived in The Bronx for the 7 years I was married to my first husband; it was hishim.It was a long commute for me to get to Manhattan to get to college, and later to get to work. Buses, trains, transfers, pushing, crowds.This particular train line, the (fitting nomenclature) Dyre Avenue Line, was partly elevated, and it cut through one of the poorest and dangerous areas of the city: The SouthTrains were constantly breaking down, it seemed like every pervert on earth ended up in front of me or behind me—either option, not pleasant—see it or feel it, if you catch my drift.It seemed like there was always something happening, that this subterranean world had a life of its own, its own rules, its own culture. idea—easier for Bronx.

It was 1972.Graffiti was big.All over; sprayed over anything that moved. Grafitti artists loved “tagging” trains: they sprayed on their balloon logo, or tag, unique to them, and watched for train to careen by.It gave them immortality.Train maintenance was at an all time low.Good luck looking out of spray painted “tagged” windows, and if you could, the view was veiled by dirt. Thick coats of it.

One day I exited the train at the Times Square Station as police were blasting announcements through bullhorns: “If anyone was witness to the murder that took place on this platform yesterday, please come forward.” Nice. And off to work I went.

Then again, there were some surreal episodes: I was coming down from the Bronx to get to work and transferred to the Lexington Avenue Line, the #4 local.It was my birthday.I was probably about 24, and carrying a birthday cake so I could make myself a party and share it with my class of deaf students.

Something happened in the tunnel and we sat for what felt like ages.I was late to work that day.I trekked, out of breath with my 500 teacher bags and my cake.The walk to the school was about 20 minutes long.

The return route in reverse was sans cake.The train was packed.When a New York City train is packed, you carefully position yourself between the six safest looking bodies and hope for the best.Hands, arms, legs, bags, and breath merge into one blob of humanity.

Someone had a bright idea and unleashed a tear gas bomb.In a train where you can’t budge, let alone breathe.And there we all were, careening toward 34th Street and having a group convulsion.Someone had another bright idea; instead of letting us get to the station where we could flee and inspire, someone, was inspired to pull the emergency cord.

We couldn’t fall but we jello-ed into an off-balance mass.

We were stuck in a tunnel between stations. Standing and choking.Now we couldn’t breathe, and we couldn’t move, literally, until the breaks were reset.And then it happened. The lights went out.

Ok, so now we are in the dark, packed together, moaning, coughing, cursing.

I started to cry.I had had it.In exasperation I yelled.I cried.“This shouldn’t be happening; today is my birthday!”

And in the dark, over the sweaty, moaning, cursing, coughing, blob of skin, sweat, lunch pails and hair, a voice could be heard singing from the other end of the car.“Happy Birthday to you…” The song moved closer, and closer, spreading like fungus until it encased me, “Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday to you!” People of all colors, office workers, sanitation men, seamstresses, window washers, thugs, and short order cooks got me through the dark.

It was very easy in those days to hate New York; it was dirty, unkempt, unpunctual. Some said the city was falling apart.But it was always real.That’s why I stayed.

Note to the reader:

The South Bronx is in the process of gentrification: The Bronx once provided classy digs for those who wanted to leave Manhattan for something more countrified.The areas around the Grand Concourse were elegant and lined with beautiful trees and art deco buildings in the 20’s.In the 40’s the immigrants flooded in.Gradually in the 60’s and 70’s, the elegance faded, people left for private homes, a huge ugly blunder of a housing development called, Co-Op City, or died off, and the drug dealers and the poor moved in.It was high crime.It wasn’t pretty.

The poor, dangerous areas are now attracting the likes of artists and business, and the neighborhood still go on. The Italian section is still thriving, and a wonderful place to visit and have a great meal. Remember Dion, from Dion and the Belmonts of Rock & Roll fame. They lifted their name straight from a neighborhood sign–Belmont Avenue, in the Italian section.

The Bronx Botanical Gardens is famous as is the Bronx Zoo. The subway still runs through it.

Viva The Bronx.

Just had to wait for the world to change.

poem follows…everything I write is true.

• Frida…
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Awwwww… the birthday surprise was great! There can be a heart in that anonymous mass of strangers. I hope it dried up your tears. You didn’t write about your reaction but I filled in that blank with mine. I could relate very well to your story, probably because of having taken Mexico City’s Metro many times. A lot worse than NYC’s, I guess. Seemed that the mass of people would pull you into the train and out of it regardless of your needs. Yet, I love huge city living; where else do you have so many different things to enjoy? Mexico City Metropolitan Area is now 22 million people or perhaps more? And Guadalajara, where I live, around 4 million. As you, no matter what, I appreciate “the concrete jungles”, as we call huge cities here. HUGS!

Tuesday April 24, 2007 – 02:25pm (CDT) Remove Comment

• Sans …
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It was a typical NY moment! Yes the mob sweeps you away, you lose all your rights! NYC is now over 8 million people and that doesn’t include the commuters from Long Island, the state and others from New Jersey, Connecticut, Pennsylvania…

Tuesday April 24, 2007 – 03:47pm (EDT) Remove Comment

• aimle…
• Offline IM

“…jelloed into an off-balanced mass.”  Great stuff. Changes bring out the best in some, like you! 🙂

Wednesday August 15, 2007 – 05:38pm (CDT) Remove Comment

• Trees…
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What a fantastic piece of writing.. I was really gripped by what you were saying.. and what was coming up next. I’m totally ignorant of NYC!.. only been once… as a 9 year old.. stranded at the airport as our flight to Trinidad was re-routed!! I’ve heard of the Bronx, I know its was/is? a rough place… I would have been scared out of my wits travelling on the train every day.. and living there. But I know about crushed ‘tube trains’.. as I grew up near London… although never suffered a tear gas bomb.. but just being crushed by ‘unknown’ others… but from this dark point… the light of the ‘trapped’ community.. singing ‘happy birthday’… ah… great.. see humanity has a soul… and oftentime shows in times of deepest fear….

Friday August 17, 2007 – 11:52am (BST) Remove Comment

• sugar…
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When we look back on your yound adulthoods, it’s amazing the things and situations we tolerated. It seems everyone on that train was suffering equally awful moment after awful moment…your cry…brought out the tenderness in everyone.

Monday August 20, 2007 – 10:42pm (CDT) Remove Comment

• Tee-b…
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OMG…what a great entry!! I love when you write about your life experiences in NYC and the region around it. I especially loved the part about the stalled train and the man who started sing “Happy Birthday”..and how that turned into a mas sing-a-long for YOU!! I rode the subway(The “T”) for a few years when I was a student in Boston, so I can relate a little to the subway experiences….I think I could write a book on my experiences–the subway car driver who sang out the stops in his Boston accent ala Frank Sinatra, the business woman who I am sure was a man in drag sitting next to me, the black kids singing Doo-Wah-Diddy in German, the pervs..oh, the pervs!! 😛 And the crowded trains..one time, I almost couldn’t get off a train..I was on the platform, but my arm attached to my huge portfolio case was still stuck on the train! I *think* this is the year my daughter goes to the Bronx Zoo as a day-long field trip….it is a very famous zoo, that is for sure!!

Thursday August 23, 2007 – 10:49pm (EDT) Remove Comment

• dange…
• Offline IM

this is a great blog. i loved the happy birthday story

editdeletereply lauritasita wrote on May 20, ’08 I bet you ended up sharing your cake with everyone that sang “Happy Birthday To You” on the train, since that little journey must’ve taken all day ! Look at it as a great cultural event of the year ! “I trekked, out of breath with my 500 teacher bags and my cake. The walk to the school was about 20 minutes long.” Speaking of trekking, that reminds me of my post ! How’s that for synchronicity !!!

reply bostonsdandd wrote on May 20, ’08 LOL Oh poor Sans :o(. Every once in a while we have a birthday from heck :oP. I’ve had a couple LOL. My MOTHER actually forgot my birthday one year LOL. Daddy always forgets. But that’s what happens when you grow older, maybe. We have to forget the past to survive in the future. Thanks for sharing this with us. I LOVE John Mayer LOL. One of his BIGGEST fans by the way ;o)!

reply danceinsilence wrote on May 20, ’08 This reminded me of a subway ride I had there many moons ago. One or two in the morning. I think it was Spring. Sparse on occupants, but the kind you wouldn’t bring home to mother. Flashing lights passed by in a sprinkle as the train bellowed across the tracks, and not a soul spoke, but kept to themselves. It was better that way. Lost souls on a destination we really knew not then. We just roared along. No birthday songs sung, just utter quiet. For you at least, on your day, most, if not all your pangs were soothed in the midst of an uneven moment.

reply lunarechoes wrote on May 20, ’08 I loved the birthday story. I loved reading this whole entry. It’s so real, so honest, and yet so nostalgic. I love that the nostalgia is in spite of–or even because of–an honest acknowledgement of the problems rather than a fake, pastel-colored set of false memories.

reply sanssouciblogs wrote on May 21, ’08 Please go on to the next post, the poem that follows: http://sanssouciblogs.multiply.com/journal/item/99 Thanks so much

reply sanssouciblogs wrote on May 21, ’08 and not a soul spoke, but kept to themselves. It was better that way. This is the NYC way–don’t look, don’t talk, be invisible. On the subway, that is. Otherwise we are a friendly bunch of muggers. Actually, the crime rate is lowest in the country. We’re safe and cute here. ;D

reply welshdoug wrote on May 22, ’08 As a Welshman, we usually only get to see “The Big Apple”, or the “Unsavoury” side of New York through our media. Yes, New York has had it’s dark times, but I’ve always felt that there was character, realism, humour and “community” among the people living there – you just proved it. We can’t wait to visit there (9 days and counting….) – for us, it’s a “once in a lifetime” trip.

reply sanssouciblogs wrote on May 22, ’08, edited on May 22, ’08 New York City is a very unique and special place. It’s very different from the ’70’s. Several mayors have really cleaned it up in many ways. We have one of the lowest crime rates in the country! The best food–I think over 25,000 restaurants–you won’t starve! It has become so expensive that it is inconceivable to me.  Rents in Manhattan can be thousands a month. A lot of foreign money comes in. The dollar, once so strong is frighteningly weak.  There are so many foreign tourists in the city you can’t walk; even without the foreign tourists you can’t walk! You’ll marvel at how the streets are full of people day and night. Oh yes, well now tht you can’t go up the WTC :(, you can still go up to the top of the Empire State Building and in Rockefeller Center to the Rainbow room for dinner and dancing–fancy. I’ve never been. http://www.rainbowroom.com/rainbow_room.htm

reply rajarishi wrote on May 23, ’08 thank you so much for sharing this expedition with all of us thank you so much for your visit to mine

reply shankarg wrote on May 23, ’08 i have never been away from india, further more, now a days when you mention the name subway to youngsters they do not seem to realize what one is saying as their mind does not go further beyond the eat out “SUBWAY” is that so popular overseas, we have franchise of the same and is it as good as McDonald?

reply sanssouciblogs wrote on May 23, ’08 It’s probably healthier food than McDonald’s, but everyone is getting on the health wagon, so MCD has better choices than years ago.