372. Something to share: the editor’s critique of submitted manuscript
I wanted to tell my friends who have been following me:
My manuscript submission was reviewed by an editor, just a once over, and I was sent a critique. Suggestions were made that I can use or not. I will probably take heed. Most are about organization, and a few mechanical tweaks.
But the main thing is the manuscript was favorably reviewed. Here are a few comments:
Comments:
The author establishes a strong voice in these poems, so much so that it’s clear when a poem is in the voice of a character, like “Love: Lost and Found” (165).
The poems generally have a strong narrative or concept that engages and immerses the reader in the world and emotions of the narrator, whose stories and memories will most likely ring true to readers of all generations and experiences.
Content: Do the poems have emotional power, sensory impact, or conceptual interest?
The poems have a strong narrative and emotional drive, and the author succeeds in evoking a New York City of days past and linking it with the city of today. As good confessional poetry does, the personal nature of the poems connects the reader with the author in an intimate way that allows their themes and emotions to resonate.
Execution: Does the book have sufficient literary or entertainment value?
While the core of the book is strong, it would have more of a literary impact if it were pared down to focus more on the central subject of growing up in New York, with some of the more whimsical or abstract pieces saved for a different collection.
Are sounds, language, and imagery used effectively?
While the author has a clear grasp of the poetic form and compelling imagery, much of the potency of the poetry could be improved by a greater economy of language, with a greater focus on specific language and imagery.
General Comments: Give your overall impression of the book.
I think this is a fascinating and well-put-together collection. The overall concept and organization is effective, although I wish I could see the pictures to be included, as I imagine they’ll add even more to the people and places evoked in the work. There’s still some editing needed, specifically to tighten up the language and imagery in places and to make the thematic structure more solid, but this is a very strong draft.
So I will be going back and reworking the submission. Originally when I put the manuscript together, I was thinking of having all my work in one place for me. I really wasn’t focusing on marketing and getting a broad readership. The comment from the first editor gave me a look into how to make the submission more cogent. I will probably be taking some pieces out and shifting one to give a greater impact to the ending.
I have just been procrastinating. I don’t have all that much to do but I need the utmost concentration in moving pages and making sure the graphics and table of contents are in order. I am also, at their suggestion going to engage an editor for the “lightest” of editing.
I couldn’t believe that after all those read-throughs I still had silly errors.
The mind sees what it wants to see, I guess.
I am almost done. Maybe that’s why I am scared and reluctant.
It’s “so now what” syndrome.” Just give me a big kick and I’ll be on my way. If you don’t see me for a bit, you know what I am doing. Probably cowering in a corner eating cheese puffs.
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sweetpotatoqueen wrote on Jun 1, ’09
sanssouciblogs said
Oh yes….I didn’t need an editor to tell us this as I have always been a fan of your ability to bring your readers right there with you in your writings. Congratulations on such a favorable review,my dear. No surprise to me at all!
How in the world did you get IMMEM to play for more than 30 seconds???? I’m off on a mini vacay later in the week myself so won’t be around. Have a great week!! MWAH!!!! |
The poems generally have a strong narrative or concept that engages and immerses the reader in the world and emotions of the narrator, whose stories and memories will most likely ring true to readers of all generations and experiences. 
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fuzzysworld wrote on Jun 1, ’09
Sounds like you’re on your way to fame and fortune!
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ladywolf11 wrote on Jun 1, ’09
Very proud and Happy for you- now you go Girl!!! keep us up to date ok
liz |
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philsgal7759 wrote on Jun 1, ’09
Narice applies Boot to Sue’s backside Get it done You are so close
Love ya |
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caffeinatedjo wrote on Jun 1, ’09
Um, I would kick you but I am in my barefeetsies and I might break a toe ;). Congrats on getting this far…not much farther to go, though I imagine it seems endless to you.
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kathyinozarks wrote on Jun 1, ’09
sounds like good reviews-good luck to you
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danceinsilence wrote on Jun 1, ’09
Just a thought …Instead of removing pieces, why not try a sectional book, say in four parts for example.The Early Years,
The Formidable Years The Painful Years Those Things That Remain ConstantJust examples, but this way, you don’t loose out on your intent, rearranging the structure and solving the import of the Editor’s one comment:Execution: Does the book have sufficient literary or entertainment value? While the core of the book is strong, it would have more of a literary impact if it were pared down to focus more on the central subject of growing up in New York, with some of the more whimsical or abstract pieces saved for a different collection. Take that whimsical and abstract and convert them into chapters so to speak. |
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sanssouciblogs wrote on Jun 1, ’09
danceinsilence said
Instead of removing pieces, why not try a sectional book, say in four parts for example. The Early Years, Just examples, but this way, you don’t loose out on your intent, rearranging the structure and solving the import of the Editor’s one comment: Execution: Does the book have sufficient literary or entertainment value? While the core of the book is strong, it would have more of a literary impact if it were pared down to focus more on the central subject of growing up in New York, with some of the more whimsical or abstract pieces saved for a different collection. Take that whimsical and abstract and convert them into chapters so to speak.
It’s in 7 parts now. It’s a toss up between removing a couple of very light pieces that are different from the serious tone of the book, removing the whole part, or saying top hell with it and leaving it. But I am moving a childhood poem to the end to it’s own section. She thought the book should end in my voice and not with the section on “couples”. I am still on the darn fence.
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sanssouciblogs wrote on Jun 1, ’09
Thank you, Sous :)I engaged iUniverse last year after researching self publishing. The publishing industry is going flat and not taking on new ventures., It’s all about money BUT if you publish yourself (you have full control) one of the houses might scout you out and then take you on. it’s all very political like most things. I was doing this for me and I didn’t want to get into the endless sending out in pieces, I thought this would be more like a portfolio. Now, however, the comments make me think like I should listen to the pro and adhere to those guidelines.A suggestion or two were made and were not appropriate. The person doesn’t live in NY and the suggestion was off the mark. So I have to pick and choose to stay true to the book.I am working with 27+ graphics and their formats including my illustrations and photographs and photographs of my late father, it’s been more than a book, it’s an overwhelming process on many levels.
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danceinsilence wrote on Jun 1, ’09
Don’t know what else to say then, except watch for them damn splinters on the fence.
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sanssouciblogs wrote on Jun 1, ’09
sweetpotatoqueen said
Thanks !!
Oh the imeem thing. Not sure but–I have uploaded so much stuff they made me a premium member, don’t know if that helps. And the song playing is mine. The other thing is that licensing dictates the length of the song and depends on the song’s owner. It sometimes seems arbitrary and it’s unpredictable. I can hear the full versions of the music on my front page, not sure if others do. But sometimes if I hit the page I get a few with 30 secs. It helps to clear the cache and if I sign in to imeem. Who the heck knows?? Have a great mini away and take me with you. xo |
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sanssouciblogs wrote on Jun 1, ’09
fuzzysworld said
either that or angst and heratburn :))I have no expectations. It’s just another industry full of politics–read my greeting card series, you’ll see what I mean. I just felt that I needed to collect everything and keep it safe as a legacy. But if you think I should send a copy to the 2 O’s–Obama and Oprah, just let me know.
Thanks, Fuzz! xo |
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sanssouciblogs wrote on Jun 1, ’09
ladywolf11 said
Thanks, Liz! Gonna keep on keeping on. I appreciate the support.
xo |
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sanssouciblogs wrote on Jun 1, ’09
philsgal7759 said
Thanks! I needed that!!!
I should be working instead I am making my famous fowl balls. (Turkey meatballs–I feel a greeting card coming on!) xoxo |
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sanssouciblogs wrote on Jun 1, ’09
caffeinatedjo said
Break dancing, yes, toe breaking , no! What the hell am I waiting for???
Oh right, meatballs have to be stirred on the stove. Good excuse. Guess I’ll do the laundry. xoxo |
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sanssouciblogs wrote on Jun 1, ’09
kathyinozarks said
Thank you!
The woman who now takes over production was trying to tell me “THIS IS A GREAT REVIEW!” At first I got a letter saying I was in a prestigious award category–THEN I got a letter that there was an error and I would have to resubmit the book with 2 commentaries unsolicited from critics for the book jacket. See, all for money. BUT it’s a good first start. Thanks so much, Kathy. xoxo |
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sanssouciblogs wrote on Jun 1, ’09
danceinsilence said
HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!
Yeah these are pains in the arse! I don’t know which way to go. Husband says “take out,” writer friend says “leave in.” OY. I might have a better sense when I print out, see the order and visit it again. It’s true there are a bunch that kind of stand out as their own world. Other worldly…like me. Your alien friend. |
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lauritasita wrote on Jun 1, ’09
I’m glad the editor’s views are favorable. Keep up the great work !
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OH…that’s right…I remember reading about you self-publishing…seems like that’s what many are doing now, since most of your big publishers no longer take unsolicited manuscripts and you normally need to engage an agent to try to get you in. Kind of sad, in that there are undoubtedly many amazing manuscripts out there that we’re missing….manuscripts that could later be turned into screen plays and movies…And you’re right…it’s up to YOU what advice you choose to take…they weren’t there…you are a good enough writer to know pretty much what you’re doing…and when one is getting critiqued, one has to remember that everyone will have their opinion which many times will not coincide with someone elses….even when publishing houses WERE accepting manuscripts, it was the luck of the draw…if your manuscript was really good, if the reader didn’t like your style or the subject matter it could make or break your success. Readers are human, and regardless of what they say, it’s hard to be objective when you can’t relate to something, or the style in which it was written.Procrastination is something that a lot of writers and artists do….personally, I can tell you how I feel when I work on something for so long….labor over it, nurture it, mold it, and create it to as near perfection as I can….I know that once it’s done, the process is over. It’s so finite…I liken it to going through the labor and pain of birthing a child, raising the child with love and an abundance of energy, and then once an adult, your job is done, and you have to let go…you can form that intimate relationship with a book, or a painting, or a sculpture too…and even though it’s a huge, intimate part of you, once you let go, it’s no longer yours, solely and personally….it belongs to the world.
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asolotraveler wrote on Jun 1, ’09
overall seems favorable and should cause you to feel confident and even more dedicated to fine-tuning your product! congrats and best wishes. brad
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strongwilledwoman wrote on Jun 1, ’09
Sue, first and foremost KUDOS, constructive critique is always healthy. May I make a suggestion…It will take a little work and time but it may help you hurdle those spots they are talking about. Have you taped the manuscript? It’s just like practicing for a speech. When you can hear your own words it is sometimes easier to see the big picture and not just the parts. Who knows..perhaps if you have it on tape you may have another media to get it out to the pubic.I used to love reading to my mother when she was recovering from a stroke, and I know she would have adored hearing your work.
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sanssouciblogs wrote on Jun 1, ’09
strongwilledwoman said
I used to love reading to my mother when she was recovering from a stroke, and I know she would have adored hearing your work. Hi B!
Someone else suggested that. I have actually taped myself reading many pieces, but there have been so many changes; I am now working with over 160 pages, 27 graphics and photos. I am mainly making placement changes, tweaking a few pages–I ahve a graphic on the divider of each of 7 parts and the rest of visuals (my illustrations, photos and my late dad’s photos) embedded in the text.The big question is whether to remove a few pieces for another collection.What I am in the process of doing now is fixing some silly errors, and making a mock up of the print out–I can cause major deforestation with all I have printed. I’m going to set up the “book” and see how it looks.THEN I have an editor I am engaging.EVENTUALLY the whole thing is reformatted to 6X9 which will cause issues with line breaks. I have to go over it all and approve it. (blueprints like I did for my greeting cards–did you see those 2 posts? Let me know if you can’t find them) THEN it goes to press. Thank you for the wonderful input. I will need your support for a long time. |
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sanssouciblogs wrote on Jun 1, ’09
brian51 said
Thanks Brian, There’s a way to go still but it helps having you next to me.
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sanssouciblogs wrote on Jun 1, ’09
gilesy01 said
Actually I think it’s just to make this one better, remove stuff that has a different tone. I really have to think about it, and I am leaning towards that. It’s a big collection. I can even see my light-hearted silly poems about cats as a children’s book. Grateful to have you, Sir Giles.
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sanssouciblogs wrote on Jun 1, ’09
jadedruid said
Thanks, Sharon! I appreciate those words. Still have a ways to go. This place is highly professional, the reader offered some good points. Some were from the point of an out of towner who doesn’t know NY so I am not budging on what can’t be applied. But I am being open-minded on the suggestions. I have gone back and pared down some language. She/he (?) made a valid point about my style. It’s borderline prose, and with less clarification to the reader it leans back more to poetry. Mainly on a few story-like poems. Interesting to get that perspective.
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nomadtraveller wrote on Jun 1, ’09
Ah, there’s always more to do! But how wonderful to get these comments, Sue. You must be so encouraged. Are we celebrating again?
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sanssouciblogs wrote on Jun 1, ’09
nomadtraveller said
Helllloooooo, Neil!
I think we’ll celebrate again after I finish revising the submitted stuff and then RE submit. It never ends BUT I see the light. Now it’s amtter of a few tweaks and organization and the ongoing dilemma of whether I take a few things out. There are now 7 parts; I think I might remove some whimsical stuff to keep the tone, and combine 2 parts and create a last one to finish the book in my voice as was suggested As it is now it ends with a series on couples. I think I am going to bring a childhood poem to the end to make it come full circle. THANK YOU SO MUCH! xo |
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sanssouciblogs wrote on Jun 1, ’09
nomadtraveller said
Helllloooooo, Neil!
I think we’ll celebrate again after I finish revising the submitted stuff and then RE submit. It never ends BUT I see the light. Now it’s amtter of a few tweaks and organization and the ongoing dilemma of whether I take a few things out. There are now 7 parts; I think I might remove some whimsical stuff to keep the tone, and combine 2 parts and create a last one to finish the book in my voice as was suggested As it is now it ends with a series on couples. I think I am going to bring a childhood poem to the end to make it come full circle. THANK YOU SO MUCH! xo |
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dianahopeless wrote on Jun 1, ’09
Congrats on the favorable review. And good luck with the editing. It really does sound a bit like giving birth. lol
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sanssouciblogs wrote on Jun 1, ’09
dianahopeless said
ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
Yes, that was the cry of birth–actually a primal scream–more realistically, I stubbed my toe! xoxo |
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I really appreciate receiving constructive suggestions for any of my writings. I think we must consider the masses of competition, our personal strength and endurance and our potential gains, monetary or whatever. What I read of your work delighted me and held my interest throughout. I wish you my best.
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sanssouciblogs wrote on Jun 1, ’09
gypsy4you said
I am open to any kind of critique. I didn’t know what to expect from the reader. I thought most of what was said was on target. They are paid to find what is wrong, so I was happy to hear what was wrong and right. I do hope I can sit down with this tomorrow. Procrastination is not helping!
Thank you as always, I love hearing from you. Lynne xo |
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skeezicks1957 wrote on Jun 2, ’09
It seems like the comments were positive. Whether or not you take their suggestions is your decision. Kicks as directed!
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mindsnomad wrote on Jun 2, ’09, edited on Jun 2, ’09
“I am almost done. Maybe that’s why I am scared and reluctant.It’s “so now what” syndrome.” Just give me a big kick and I’ll be on my way. If you don’t see me for a bit, you know what I am doing. Probably cowering in a corner eating cheese puffs.”– I am so tempted to spew the words of a wise person in my life – “So you want to sabotage yourself with all the worrying? Stop procrastinating, Get it done. Just do it. You are already scared, how much scared can you be?”I am Glad it was a favorable critique.
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knightstar wrote on Jun 2, ’09
sanssouciblogs said
Congratulations, Sue! These are great reviews. I saw the above in a couple of places. Specifically, what are they recommending you do?–M
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Awww…. I love Cheese Puffs… Cheese in any form or shape. I was a mouse in my past life. LOL!The critique is really great, coming from a professional.
I am glad he found it fascinating. A strong voice capable of evoking powerful emotion. I know I have good taste! Though I am not a professional, I always liked that through your words, you took me there and I saw everuthing as in the last poem. The street, the buildings, the people coming and going.About the language economy, I have no idea… Your poems always seem so professional to me. I loved when you posted a blog… long ago. It was something about Autumn Leaves or mentioned them. I loved how you described the “finishing” of the poem.I don’t know which way you’ll go, but reading about your life through poems always made me think: this is great just for a blog. You are a very talented writer, and most of the critique is inclined towards the positives. I think in any case it only needs some retouching here, retouching there…Did I tell you I used to edit news (for years)? How in the world do they do that with poetry, where the author has selected every word in a very personal way,,, the selection of every word and image seems to me like a love attachment between the words and the poet. Editing sounds very hard and very hurtful for the author. You are making me laugh here, when you mention procrastination. You’re almost there, almost done with a book of your own while I have lots of simple stuff awaiting for my attention (for a while now), so….pass me those puffs! *Crunch, crunch, crunch…* PS Geez…. I am hungry! 🙂 |
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bostonsdandd wrote on Jun 2, ’09
I’m proud of you! That is a great review. It could be taken a little harshly yes, but overall I’m thinking the editor thinks it’s going to sell. THAT is the answer to your question! But WE could have told you that ;o) LOL.
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forgetmenot525 wrote on Jun 5, ’09
congrats ………..what a lot of work you have done to get this far.
I know these are the ‘professionals” and their criticism is constructive criticism BUT….. it’s your work and the final say should lie with you. I’m sure you’ll take on board what they say and re-work some of the stuff, but maybe you should just stop when YOU think its right, regardless of how ‘economic’ with language you manage to become 🙂 as always , only my humble opinion my dear, for what its worth. |
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velvet3000 wrote on Jun 6, ’09
CONGRATULATIONS again Sue!!!!I don’t have that much experience – but as having had a couple of academic articles published – you should take referees’ comments and suggestions with a grain of salt – accept them if they’re helpul – but if you feel the referees are instilling their own opinions, don’t be too worried – this might just be what happens in academic submission to journals and referring, not sure!!AGAIN – CONGRATULATIONS – WHAT FANTASTIC, WONDERFUL NEWS!
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sanssouciblogs said
I know that feeling!! You’re great Suz …….you may in fact hit the puffs but soon you’ll be powering ahead like the strongest steam train. …make way all xxx
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sanssouciblogs wrote on Jul 7, ’09
7jewel said
It’s going through second edit now. I should be hearing soon and then we reformat for printing.
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virginialady wrote on Jul 25, ’09
sounds like i tis a goo dbook an djust needs a littl emore work to mak ei tstronger SIS..love and you can do it SIS!Good luck
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372. Something to share: the editor’s critique of submitted manuscript — No Comments
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