This from the “why me?” department of my life with computers. You might call it a rant.

I am not a formally trained hack, but I am pretty darned good at troubleshooting and problem solving when it comes to technology. I love technology, I really do, but I hate frustration and in this anecdote you’ll see how technology and frustration often go hand in hand.

I have 4 Dell computers in various states of functioning. My old Inspiron 8200 was purchased in 2002 and would work properly if I decided to wipe the hard drive clean and start over again. Sometimes you have to let go. My son’s Dell laptop was purchased before he went to college in 2004 and it is still chugging along, day and night, though the fan sometimes sounds like it might launch a plane. My Dell XPS 410 desktop which I am using now, was purchased in January 1007; I was the first kid on the block to get Vista, and believe me I paid for that option. Because of the new operating system and all the issues and incompatibilities with software, I befriend every technician on the Earth on every continent. I swear that if polar bears were licensed they’d be offering tech support. Gradually computer life quieted down as did my phone bill.

As my desktop came with 3 years of internet security, I decided to choose Trend Micro. I had never used it before and was getting tired of Norton and couldn’t stand McAfee. Finally, everything was properly configured, my wireless router was finally working well, I got an adapter to receive the signal at the other end of the house (50 feet away and up a floor). I was in business.

In March I purchased a new Dell laptop to replace my old one. Again, I chose Trend Micro having had a good experience with it on the desktop.

Soon after I got the computer I noted that the internet security wasn’t updating. I spent several hours on the phone with Dell and adjustments were made. Everything seemed to be OK until I realized the program wasn’t updating, leaving me in a vulnerable position. Dell was helpful as usual but at some point I let them know that there had to be a bug in the program, that no matter how many times it was “fixed” it reverted to its previous flawed self. Hence, no internet security updates.

It must have been the end of March when Dell told me to call Trend Micro directly. The Dell tech support that I was dealing with is in the Philippines. I was told that Trend Micro was “across the street.”

So I called Trend Micro and they, like Dell, took remote access of my computer and fiddled from miles away. Weeks went by and the problem couldn’t be fixed. I was bumped up to the level 2 technicians. That’s when I met Hershe. She is in charge of my case.

It’s been more weeks now and Hershe, a 26 year old technician, calls me almost daily. We chat about the weather, I make her giggle, she takes remote access of my computer, collects data that she brings to the other technicians in an effort to solve this problem.

It is now June. But you knew that. And they are still working on the case. On MY computer. Almost everyday. Sometimes during the day, sometimes in the evening. Now don’t get me wrong, I love this little technician who calls me “M’am” and somehow now seems like my daughter, but what’s wrong here?

It seems like many other people who purchased this laptop that is a “64-bit” as opposed to the old “32-bit,” are having the same problem. But MY flamingo pink XPS 1530 seems to be the test computer for the whole world.

I actually tried to get in touch with Dell to see how they’d react to this situation and I can assure you that after 2 hours of circling the runway and trying to come in for a landing, that there is NO WAY to contact corporate headquarters. I was shuttled and deflected to every country on this planet. Nope, can’t call them. And honestly, I’ve been too busy to write another nastygram to a corporation.

I was so curious about how a corporate exec would react to my story.

The bottom line is: what’s in this for me?

As I told at least 15 people at Dell, the lower downs whose ears I could capture, my flamingo pink laptop feels like a loaner. I am loath to install programs and my data and projects I am working on (for which Ineeded this second computer in the first place) because my internet security doesn’t work properly.

So for now, I have a little phone pal in the Philippines. Maybe she’s even on Multiply, who knows? But she’s a smart kid, and she seems to have made some progress installing the fixes to other computers, just not on mine.

I wonder if within the next few months she’ll meet a nice guy (she was interested in my son) and get married. And invite me to the wedding.
Then the baby shower, the child’s graduation.

I wonder if I should just keep the faith and hope my case doesn’t get booted up to the level 3 guys.

I’m not ready to be a grandmother.

reply nomadtraveller wrote on Jun 2, ’09 Ah, you get to the Philippines do you. I had a problem recently with my router and talked to a lady in Mumbai who took over my screen and fiddled around for a while. After watching Slumdog Millionaire, I am less confident with these call centres.

reply pestep55 wrote on Jun 2, ’09, edited on Jun 2, ’09 I never had to call Tech support — on my laptop that had the video card issue, took it into circuit city (remember them?) firedog since it was 2 years old and under warranty — they lost it (I had wiped off everything) and gave me a new laptop, Anyway months at level 2 ????? maybe level 3 would be better….

reply gileson wrote on Jun 2, ’09 Actually being a grand-parent is not too bad. Sometimes I wish I had skipped the parent bit and gone straight to grand parenting. I love getting the girls (6, 4 & 2) all stirred up, running and shrieking through the house in total madness, bouncing off the walls, making a trampoline out of the bed in the spare bedroom. I let them gorge on chocolate and candy and ice cream with cookies on top. Lots of good old processed refined white sugar. Shortly before the parents return there is a last minute wipe down with a wet bath towel to hide the evidence. I get hugs all around, they climb in their parent’s car and go home. I go in and take my phone off the hook. I sleep the sleep of the just. No worries, no regrets. I think there is a word for this … REVENGE comes to mind.

reply sanssouciblogs wrote on Jun 2, ’09 HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! Wicked one!!

reply caffeinatedjo wrote on Jun 3, ’09 Here is what i do not understand…you know that little man in your pc that tells you that you have mail…well, why can’t he double as a tech and fix things???

reply strongwilledwoman wrote on Jun 3, ’09 I started with a Mac, think you were just a teen ager then. next a Gateway desktop, had to have the new bells and whistles so then another Gateway desktop My first lap top was one of the first Toshiba’s then went for a Gateway laptop another upgrade to a Gateway laptop then the last desktop I will ever own Gateway Now I am pleased to have a Toshiba Qosmio and I love it!I also recall when we actually had full 4 year warranties and they stood by them. I don’t even bother with the warranties anymore as through the years they weren’t worth a darn.When I was young and brave I would read the manuals and was able to fix almost anything that didn’t require taking the machine apart…now I don’t have a clue about 1/10 of what they are talking about. To much, to fast….now I’m to old and slow to keep up. Kudos for chasing them down!

reply aladybug wrote on Jun 3, ’09 LOL!Good luck!

reply sanssouciblogs wrote on Jun 3, ’09 You have a good point, Jo! Amazing that products are released with inadequate testing. I just consider myself a worker for Trend Micro!

reply asolotraveler wrote on Jun 3, ’09 NOT good news for me as I contemplate replacing my desktop…. why must we always all have such angst when changing computers…. why are they so deficient? why is there no company who takes pride in servicing customers instead of JUST TAKING OUR $$$. it is disturbing and annoying that this travesty continues for you and lies in my future too (of that I am CERTAIN)

reply ladywolf11 wrote on Jun 3, ’09 well thank you dear for the giggle- I know its not funny for you, but as for Me who is sooooooooo not a computer geek, I got the biggest giggle out of this good luck and being a grandma is GREAT!! keep us posted ok want to try my computer geek in Canada lol

reply sanssouciblogs wrote on Jun 3, ’09, edited on Jun 3, ’09 Thanks for all the comments. I feel like this is one of the most absurd situations I’ve encountered in quite a while. And, I might add, that this is the second flaw in a product I ahve alerted a company about. I had a big problem with my old Linksys wireless router a few years back. It wasn’t strong enough to get the signal to my upstairs computers. I bought their “range expander” and helped this huge company finally realize that the two products were INCOMPATIBLE! Again, I was boosted up to higher level technicians who were supposed to fix the mess. I was left with a router that was inadequate and a range expander that wouldn’t work with it. I spent months on the phone complaining and FINALLY got justice when I got through to corporate in California. The folder I ahd my notes in was bigger than a NYC yellow ages and believe me THAT’S BIG. The solution: I ditched Linksys and purchased a NETGEAR series N router which I was told is used in yacht clubs and had a much wider range than the Linksys G series. No more problem. Another anecdote: I heard that the posts people make on Twitter are monitored by some corporations. I read an article–might have been in The NY Times a while back that someone posted a tweet about a product and how lousy it was, the company happened to scan the twitters, saw it and contacted him within hours!!! Maybe that’s what I should do!

reply ladywolf11 wrote on Jun 3, ’09 good ideatwitter away!! good luck

reply pestep55 wrote on Jun 3, ’09 Oh tweet!!!!