The family album I made for a birthday;
my mother shows it to everyone

I was wiped out yesterday after another marathon day on the phone. There was nothing left of me, no words to write, so I will try today, to piece yesterday and today together.

• I tried to get in touch with my mother’s primary doctor in hopes of her contacting Medicare to request an aide; there was no call back or response to my emails and call;
• I tried to get in touch with the doctor from the rehab who put my mother on Hospice care but apparently she has nothing more to do with my mother. No response to two calls–and she was such a lovely person when I did speak with her. I guess she just doesn’t have the time to spare;
• I called Vitas Hospice and requested a visit from a rabbi. They had sent a Jamaican chaplain whom my mother enjoyed talking to but I figured that Passover is coming, send in the matzo-man;
• I emailed and spoke to the advocate. We discussed cutting back the three aides’ hours when the Hospice nurses were on twenty-four hour crises care. I felt it was redundant to have two people on at night and since the cost is so high and a great source of my anxiety, I tried to cut corners where it was feasible;
• I spoke to an elder care lawyer about the veteran’s widow’s pension and aid and attendance as well as the Medicaid diversion. A lot to digest. If you managed to save money and have some you are next to the rock, if you are poor you are next to the hard place. Stuck. If you are in the middle, good luck with your assets. Buh-bye. Hello, nursing home and hopefully you’ll be able to function in one of those hell-holes without a private duty nurse because you’ll be too poor to afford one;
• I spoke to an organization I found on line that handles much the same thing but charges less and requires the children take guardianship of the assets and have to document what work they have done, just like I am doing, in order lower assets and to be eligible for the various government programs and pay all bills. I never found out if once guardianship is established if us children are financially responsible for the parent once the money runs out. And, mind you the children must pay taxes on it. I didn’t decide on doing anything. Oh, and during this phone conversation I got an ocular migraine;
• I spoke to my brother-in-law about three times to compare notes between agencies and phone calls;
• I spent a while last night looking at ratings of nursing homes in New York City and wondering if my mother could withstand a trip and if the shock of being in a home up here would kill her. The problem is it would kill her down there, too.
• This morning the Hospice crises team notified me that this would be the last night they would be on the premises. She is still on Hospice but not on crisis care. Back we go with a night person tomorrow night. She still is recovering from pneumonia, can’t go out, is very weak and frail and exhausted. The good thing is, she loves the aides, one in particular thinks of her as her mother. I love that woman.
• I went to a bank earlier that has taken over my mother’s Florida bank and was able to get information locally which is a help.
• In the middle of all this I called my friend David to trap the mama kitty (Princess Blue) and take her for spaying, shots and recuperation. Then she will be released back.  I couldn’t deal with another litter of kittens and I don’t think she needed to have another. I did my good deed; it took a long while to get her hungry enough to get into the trap but she went in. She’s a gorgeous animal, I wish I could take her in but I have three of my own and one isn’t well.

You only get one mother

This series is linked: see “continued here.” Also, below the line there will be links for the previous post and the next.

The series starts here

continued here