Make that: all roads lead to a nursing home.

Today I packed a large wheelie-bag with folders; they included my notes and information on the following:

• Important phone numbers;
• Research on legal matters, residences, Medicaid, moving, social services, my union;
• Accounting: statements and notations;
• The Department of Veterans’ Affairs;
• A folder from one of the residences visited;
• Four folders of the latest bank statements;
• Law notes from the phone conference with the elder lawyer in Florida;
• Copies of certificates for the Veterans’ Administration;
• A resident’s handbook for my mother’s current residence;
• stock statements;
• Long term care statements, notes, correspondences;
• Health Insurance;
• Important documents from Florida including: Power of Attorney, Living Will, Health Care Proxy;
• Research on possible placements;
• A sub folder of folders containing notes on:
• my mother’s health and journey through the hospital and two rehabs
• correspondences and calls to the social services department of my mother’s former place of business;
• lists of financial accounting;
• problems with social security;
• more correspondences with the Long Term Care insurance company;
• notes on phone calls to the current assisted living director about issues, and on calls to the home health care agency

I left the folders of bills I’ve paid and related statements at home. This comprises one of the two plastic cartons I deal with daily in my office.

I rolled all of this into the Elder Attorney’s office and hoped for the best. After over an hour we had discussed three possible plans to deal with my mother’s situation:

1. Leave things as they are and just keep spending down her money: whether she lives here or in Florida, she will, when the money runs out, have to apply for Medicaid and subsequently go into a nursing home.
2. Create a Medicaid home care and pooled trust after transferring her assets to me. I would end up with her money, we would apply for community Medicaid, a form of same that would allow her to stay in the community and receive some help–how much we don’t know but it will likely not be enough. Whatever is not paid for by Medicaid I would pay from her assets that would be transferred to me. Eventually they will run out and she will have to transition into a nursing home. However, because the assets were transferred to me, getting Medicaid to pay for the nursing home has issues: there is a “five-year look-back,” and every thing would be scrutinized and penalties may ensue if I can’t display that the money has been used for my mother.
3. Promissory notes: it costs about $10,000 min legal fees to create a loan of assets from my mother to me which protects half of the assets while the other half is used. But here again, it is a lot more complicated that I could explain and all roads lead to the nursing home.

to the nursing home from whatever which way

In short, this is not a win-win situation. Here I am trying to protect a ninety-five year old lady who may live another few years–or not. She is tough but still fragile. A nursing home is the end of the line for most elderly. If we were out of money there would be none to help her with a private aide.

My mother isn’t a rich lady who “did lunch,” played bridge, went shopping. She worked two jobs and raised two kids, socked everything away she could for her old age. When I first put her in the assisted living about three and a half years ago, I was happy she’d be safe, in a seemingly nice place, her meals would be taken care of as well as housekeeping. I thought we had enough resources to last to the end of her life. I never planned for the need for a personal aide which is twice the cost of the rent–in addition to the rent. And I never imagined posting this blog.

I left the lawyer’s office after paying the same bill as the elder care attorney cost me from Florida–about $500. That’s where the bucks go–to find out how to not let the bucks go. Ironic, isn’t it?

This series is linked: see “continued here.” Also, below the line there will be links for the previous post and the next.

The series starts here

continued here