Dear friends, I can’t even begin to tell you how sad I feel for Ampersand. Here’s a guy who was never ill in all the nine years I’ve had him. He gets a bout of stomach issues, goes to the vet for a few days to get flushed out, returns home and a week later has a runny eye. The runny eye becomes two runny eyes, they begin to dry and the next thing I know they look infected. Back to the vet who tells me to administer drops and L-Lysine. Here is a cat I have never held; try to grab this seventeen-pounder and contain him and give him meds. That was right after Christmas.

Back to the vet. He’s still there. Weeks have gone by. They sewed the eye membrane shut to give the cornea, which became ulcerated, time to heal. They went back in to look and the eye collapsed, shriveled. (When they told me this I felt sick). They were talking about sending us to a big-shot animal ophthalmologist who has the reputation of being a nasty S.O.B. That means the stress of transport and another exam. And then what? If he prescribes new meds, I can’t administer them, I can’t bring Ampersand home to mingle with the others, he’d have to go back to the vet.

I was up all night. I hoped for some kind of miraculous recovery. I walked in to the vet depressed a couple of days ago, wondering what they would tell me.

“He looks a little better.” It seemed the eye refilled with fluid. It is still leaky and looks awful, but he started to open it.

Yesterday I returned hoping everything stabilized. “It looks a little better.” The eye was open. Still bright red, the lens was still not right. There was something floating on the surface.

It’s rather horrifying to look out but I’ve gotten tough. One cat with three legs. One cat with a very sick eye that had punctured.

I just go, open the cage and make my presence known with treats. I stay as long as I can and pet the animal until he can’t purr anymore, so he knows I am there. Maybe purring is the motor that revs up the healing process. I hope so.

Yesterday

Meanwhile, at home: Play and his mother, Caramel.