Part 76: Brain, Brain Go Away
I finished with a “real” (cluster/pain) headache–THREE days, this morning after I had a strong cuppa. Then took an Imitrex. Then got TWO successive ocular migraines. Therefor: Imitrex does not prevent oculars, nor does, so far, acupuncture and related treatments. An hour ago the visual disturbance was on the left side, now it is on the right. (It is perceived that way but close one eye or the other, it is seen with both eyes=BRAIN SPASM). This has become the new norm. When I have a pain headache I am good for nothing. I suspect that the Botox treatment is wearing off. I have an appointment in a couple of weeks for another round, this time double the dose.
What could be contributing to this?? I know. WORRY> MOTHER. I watch her funds go down with each bill I pay and wonder if need be in the not so far off future how I can pay $30,000+/yr. for her rent and expenses for her to stay where she is. Keeps me up nights. Thinking about another move, it’s just too much. And I am still fighting with a schmuck who was supposed to get Community Medicaid in order at least a month ago as well as a pooled income trust. His employee walked. I yelled. This is preventing me from getting an aide paid for along with some health needs.
Years ago I never would have imagined I would be dealing with this. I suppose it could have been worse; thankfully my mother knows what is going on and is totally “with it.”
My father always said, “DON’T WORRY!” This is funny because he was the biggest worrier, he held it all in and got ulcers. And now I understand how he felt when my parents didn’t have the means for us to continue living in our apartment in Stuyvesant Town. I heard rumblings of moving to “Avenue D,” “The Jacob Riis Houses.” A city housing project.
The following video will give you an idea of what my “Lower East Side” of Manhattan looked like. The term “city housing project” was synonymous with not the greatest folks and crime. As a youngster I did my share of worrying and I am thankful we were able to stay in Stuyvesant Town, a middle class development.
My father supplemented our income by fixing cameras in my parents’ bedroom in the evenings after work. It wasn’t enough. My mother worked some evenings for an attorney across the street. It wasn’t enough. Then she got a full-time job and continued the evening job. These were people who were part of The Great Generation. They didn’t whine, they did.
It’s pay back time: I will not whine. But I will worry.
This series is linked: see “continued here.” Also, below the line there will be links for the previous post and the next.
I’m so sorry to hear that your headaches are not improving. Stress, as you know, can result in many physical ailments. Hope relief will come soon.
Our parents’ was a generation of super strong men and women. They worked impossible hours and never complained. They wanted a better life for us, their children, and managed to get it. They are indeed worth all our respect and our care. But they’re not worth our health: they never asked for it either. Think about it, Sue.