When I wrote the previous blog and then lost it, I failed to realize when reconstructing it that there were other things on my mind. You can call it revenge but it is likely more like justice for the elderly. If the elderly aren’t treated righteously now, when we “get there,” we will be screwed.

Here’s what I wanted to add.

While my mother has always tended to see other people as a threat, as untrustworthy and nosy, I always had the opposite approach; until they proved themselves otherwise.

You decide. And, by the way, what would you do?

For years I have been struggling with my mother’s physician, who is in her building, to get much needed reports to substantiate her needs. I don’t believe that the doctor himself is aware of all the times I try to contact him as my communications are fielded by a nurse and a person who does paperwork. At least twice a year I have to communicate with this group and  beg for the documentation needed to be completed in a timely fashion eg., for my mother’s Ensure. I have had to deal with that and more this year.

• I have called the office and left messages with both women on duty.
• I have followed up with fax after fax since March;
• I stated clearly that my mother needed a prescription and a letter containing specific information to continue the Ensure;
• I stated clearly that my mother is entitled to Veteran’s benefits which required the doctor/staff to complete an application asap, and I included the application and modeled the responses;
• I stated clearly that my mother was not going to receive coverage for two hours of care in the evenings as her insurance had been exhausted and that the Managed Long term Care needed a doctor’s input… and that we had to have a fair hearing; a medical report was needed for the attorney to have by last Friday;

I explained and explained and then tried to contact the doctor at his other office. The nurse there promised me a call-back and that she would show the fax to the doctor immediately.

Here’s what happened.

Nothing.

And, the nurse at the second office insisted that she never received the first fax. I sent it AGAIN, later in the afternoon, and just like the women in the office in my mother’s building, there was no reply, no callback. I call these women the “Stepford Nurses;” they are programmed to smile, sound very sweet and knife you in the back.

THIS is what I call, “Elder Abuse.”

So, the legal rep had no medical report to fall back on when she appeared at the hearing. Many of the facts went by the wayside. “Well, why can’t she be alone another hour and why does she need the help?” I wish I had been there to kick ass and stand up to that bull. “Why can’t she eat in the dining room instead of her apartment?”

Because, you moron, she needs help. She needs to have assistance when eating which is NOT provided in that huge dining room for independent people. Because she would need more help to get down there and back upstairs. Because she is ninety-nine years old, about eighty-five pounds and fragile. Because, it is HER prerogative not to have to answer to imbeciles like you. Because one day I will be in that condition, in that way, in need of help. God help me. God help us.

Because.

This series starts here:
Part 1: And The Band Played On … a mother’s life, a daughter’s journey

 The previous post is here

The next post is here.