112: Mother-Daughter Journey: Diversion
What better thing to do on Christmas day? A blog, of course.
A Merry Christmas to all!
As I was drinking my coffee this morning I was thinking of writing about some of my diversions. You see, when one is under stress, one needs diversions. Those of us who are “creative” can escape for a while into our own heads while the world around us spins. I know the spin well: it leads to vertigo, anxiety, migraines. I am learning to hold in less, speak up more and live in the moment. Sometimes.
One of my biggest fears is the “call.” The end. My mother. And all that goes with it. This has been hanging over my head for ten years. Actually more. Part of my anxiety shtick.Can someone practice for this call? Memorize the lines and keep it together?
Sometimes a cringe when the phone rings. Other times I call my mother and she sounds good, her voice is familiar. Other times her ideations are reflective of fear and paranoia. Sometimes she makes me SO angry. Sometimes I think this will be the last time we will speak. I told her I had joined Ancestry.com and asked her a few question about relatives. Her response was an encouraging: “Why do you want to rake that up?”
Because I am interested and it fascinates me.
I have gotten very little encouragement over the years, from my mother. Yet, the other night, on the phone she told me how proud she was of me, that I was a teacher, that she could brag that I was a teacher.
So, I am sitting here with a blinking cursor in front of me and wondering where to start.
Here is where I divert myself from the world around me. Here is where I find solace. Here is where I collect myself. Here is where I can face my thoughts, translate them to words and figure things out. Here. Beyond this desk, this room, there are diversions to share with you:
As a cinema lover I say: go see this one!
Three Billboards Outside of Ebbing, Missouri
If you need something bittersweet to chew on, read this:
The New Yorker cartoonist, Roz Chast’s, Can’t We talk About Something More Pleasant?
If you love photography, read this:
Vivian Maier A Photographer’s Life and After Life, by Pamela Banos
When I saw an exhibition of Maier’s work years ago as Mass MoCA I was blown away. Her work had just been discovered, she had died shortly before and she became my idol.
Media. OK, here is my eclectic stay-at-home mix, some on HBO-
- Bob’s Burgers is delightfully adorable and light
- The Late Show with Steven Colbert keeps me laughing through my tears of disbelief
- The Big Bang Theory : I’ve probably see every re-run 100 times
- Dr. Who: All I want for Christmas is my own Tardis so I can get the hell out of here
- Orphan Black: If you’ve never seen one actress play a gazillion roles, you must! Kudos to Tatiana Maslany, who was also in …
- Woman in Gold
- Don’t forget Game of Thrones. OK so there is violence, but it ain’t real, it is better than real, the effects are fantastic, start from the beginning and watch twice to “get it.” You might need a score card to keep track. Trust me, the “real world” is far scarier.
- Better Call Saul , the prequel to Breaking Bad, sports Bob Odenkirk. Both are genius. Notice how I get into the dark side?
- Westworld: now here is a cool and creepy show!
- Last Tango in Halifax is a delight on PBS. Anything about finding love late in life or reconnecting with lost love, calls to me
As a subscriber to Amazon Prime, I thought I’d give the “fire stick” a shot. (The stick is a streaming device and the Amazon series are well worth it to see:
Recently seen, recommended shows include:
- The Play That Goes Wrong (we all need this!)
- Come From Away (something fabulous that came from 9/11)
- The Band’s Visit : heart warming movie became a play starring Tony Shaloub (also in Mrs. Maisel) Saw him after the show during a “talk back” and told him how much I enjoyed his work. My photo, below.
s. kalish/portrait of Tony Shaloub
Whatever your situation, find your passion, find your diversion and keep on keeping on.
This series starts here:
Part 1: And The Band Played On … a mother’s life, a daughter’s journey
The previous post is here
The next post is here
My diversions whether books, movies, series, coloring or my cats are the way I stay sane. My writing is also an excellent escape into a world of wellness and nonfinancial problems.
Hang in there Sue
Thank you!
I saw The Play That Goes Wrong a couple of weeks ago in the City, and it was a terrific diversion. We all need it from time to time. Glad for your mom and you when those bragging moments rear their wonderful head.
My diversion is a good book, working on my genealogy research, and a volunteer project that has just captured my heart. I am participating with the county I was born in (no longer live there) who are planning a big weekend event for armistice day 2018. My assignment is to research and write little biographies about the women in the county who did WWI work. I still have a long way to go but you can see what their web master has up that I did so far by clicking on the links found on this page. My work has my name on it. So much fun to get into a project like this! http://www.miamicountyinworthremembering.org/military/WWI/women/index.html
Sue, as you may know, most of “3 billboards” was filmed in Sylva, NC, where I lived for 30 years before moving to Asheville, NC. It was a big deal there in town as the movie company “invaded” and had to do quite a bit of work to prepare for filming. I recently saw the movie and agree that its certainly something to see, although it is rather “dark” for lack of a better way to describe it.
Susan,I’am happy for you,you sound better.I know I used the Hallmark Channel to get way.lol…we have cable,netflex,but my thing was to focus on the holidays,happiness and yet I cough thru all.lol…I admire your writing,just when it comes to Mothers,its to hard for me,I lost y Mother she was 57 and very alert…We were so close.I want to stay intouch.ok…I got really upset about your Mother,as cancer is so hard to really cope with .I know you are a wonderful daughter,please know your Mother is their but she probably has so much in and on her mind…hugs,love and if you get acure for the cough let me know xxx
❤️
My diversion now, between coughing fits, is to watch the Netflix series “Cosmos: A Spacetime Odissey”. Fascinating