Good morning to all of my friends in Limbo-land, the land of fear, dread, darkness, confusion, and the Covid19 Virus.

Everyday is Groundhog Day in Limbo-land. I am unable to get information directly from any professional but I have been calling in each day to patient relations.

I spoke to two people this morning who provide the statistics to ascertain that I heard the info correctly. A pulse of 46 and blood pressure of 136/45 was scary. I left a message for the doctor in charge to call me and requested a call via the patient relations department. The nurse care manager who is in charge of her long term care says she is slowly declining.

And so reality is biting me hard, and despite feeling that I was OK with all of this, that it was time, let her go gently, I am getting that sick feeling.

The mom of an on-line friend was in a nursing home in the Bronx and my friend could get no info, she was told over and over everything was OK. The next thing she knew her mother was at Monetfiore Hospital, she went in the same day as my mother went in. At the beginning, just like my mother, her mother seemed to be doing “well,” holding her own. On the second day as the doctor was making his rounds, her blood pressure plummeted and she died in front of him. Her heart just gave out. That’s what this virus does. It makes you think the victim is going to get past it and then, SURPRISE! it destroys organs beyond the lungs.

Addendum: Hospital administrator called: blood pressure and pulse are back up. Again, they want to know the discharge plan. Again, there are issues: she would be released Covid +. Would she be allowed back to her building? Just found out: Yes, under quarantine. Would there be an aide available to care for her? An aide just contacted me and wants to work. But she had about 5 in rotation and I have no idea who is well or ill.

She is incontinent. She needs two people to get her up, can’t walk unassisted. I am told by “Karen,” the case manager, at the hospital I might not have a choice. Here’s the choice: go home without enough assistance, go to a nursing home to die without enough assistance, go to rehab to die without enough assistance.

Addendum 2: The Physician’s assistant called to say she is doing “well.” She was coherent, and could walk 5 feet with a rollator. In my mind it is just the beginning. She hadn’t eaten in 2 weeks. It is still too early to push her out. We have a way to go. I have received phone call after phone call. I have spoken to person after person and still, I am getting nowhere.

Addendum 3: again! I had an audio call with my mother. She asked how I was, I asked how she was. She was very sad, lonely, didn’t know where she was when she woke up this morning. It was very difficult to understand her, she was still coughing. That reinforces my feeling that it is TOO EARLY FOR HER TO LEAVE THE HOSPITAL!

I understand that they need the bed. But, my mother is 102 years old, has pneumonia, is Covid+ and very weak.

A human heart can only take so much.

This series starts here:
Part 1: And The Band Played On … a mother’s life, a daughter’s journey

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