Part 25. The Return of Cancer: What’s Old Is New Again: Serenity Now!
Written Monday, 12/20/22 To be continued
As many of you readers who have been following my blog series “Blogging for Breast Cancer,” know, I am a breast cancer survivor, I had a mastectomy in 2004; each year I tell my story, I raise money, I try my best to help others.
So in 2021, years after 2004, things I have never heard of began to erupt: I had the removal of a papilloma (a benign growth that has the tendency to change) as well as the removal of a LCIS (lobular carcinoma in situ which “isn’t really carcinoma.”) I was fine for six months and then they found, via an MRI, (new protocol), a mammogram and sonogram, then biopsies, another “papilloma.” In the process of finding it they found still another area which ended up being benign. OK. Manageable. As my doctor does not have a wait-and-see attitude toward these invaders, and as they tend to change, they must be removed.
I insisted on putting this off until after my son’s wedding in midOctober. I saw the surgeon in November. Surgery was planned for December 8th. Prior to that, again, I needed operation clearance, blood work, and a Covid test (all on one day). The next day, I had the implant of the Savi Scout radar device so that the surgeon could locate the site via a beep. This entailed the device placement under sonogram and a subsequent mammogram to make sure it was properly placed. I had a kind of day of rest the following day to mentally prepare. Mind you, there is no more support of a husband who used to be the rock. My new normal is the asking for help from friends, something that is very hard for me. To get these appointments done, we dealt with last minute flat tires, and last minute unavailability due to illness.
Finally, the procedure was done.
I recovered from the anesthesia in about twenty-four hours and was feeling pretty good: A huge weight had been lifted.
Then something weird happened late last night: my wi-fi system just went down, for no reason, never happened before. It affected my television, my phone and my Ring security system, leaving me with a tremendous feeling of vulnerability. I fixed the problem after about about two hours of troubleshooting. I was done at 12:30 AM. I was so wound up I was unable sleep until about 3:00 AM.
My phone rang at 7:30 AM and I was in such a stupor I couldn’t find it.
The only person who calls that early is my surgeon.
It was my surgeon.
She wanted to move my Wednesday follow-up to Tuesday. And she needed to discuss the pathology report. And I am thinking: “but she told me it was a papilloma and it was a prophylactic procedure.”
The papilloma was removed. At the time of surgery I was told “it went well.”
She had performed a lumpectomy. The pathology report indicated, that in the removed tissue around the papilloma was the evidence of a tiny cancer that no one knew existed.
If I had the procedure early on when the issue was found in the summer, this area might not have even been detectable. This was a total surprise to the surgeon and to me. I was blindsided by cancer again. I don’t know why cells are becoming active after all of these years. Might it be stress? Is that what happens?
These have been some tough years for everyone. Everyone I speak with has a major issue they are battling.
Tomorrow (in a few hours) I am seeing the surgeon and then an oncologist in the same building, they were able to arrange this double appointment. I am grateful in a way: again, this potentially ominous issue was found early, however, I don’t know what kind of treatment it will entail, I don’t enough information at this time, and yes, I know everything will be alright, but what is alright when another health-mugging leaves one traumatized?
No moment can be taken for granted.
Serenity now!
The post is part of this series
The previous post is here
The next post is here
Be strong, as you invariably are.
Yiou can do this. So much light and love coming to you – soak it in and take strength from it. Pulling for you in every way.
Holding you in my prayers all the time. The Seinfeld pieces made me laugh tho. Call if you need to talk or you need me! Hugs!!
Susan, my prayers are with you. I just have been so far behind,I totally missed everything, my being sick has kept me away.I will be in prayers for you! I just think you have been such a force, so strong. I know you help others, you’re a great person. God is with you. God Bless you and take care of you.hugs and much love .
So dreadfully sorry, Susan. There are lots of things that we welcome in abundance but this is not one of them. You will prevail as you have before. Fortunately it sounds like you are the cautious and good hands of a meticulous surgeon. Again, wishing you well – the BEST
From FB
Ellen
prayers
Vickie
oh no!
Lucie V.L.
I’m so sorry to hear your news Sue. You really are continually mugged and blind-sided and I’m amazed how strong you are in coping with everything life throws at you – and now without the support of your Rock. I’m glad you are in good medical hands who seem very alert and able, and wish you so much going forward into your treatment.
Alicia
Let everything be ok for you!
Shers
I’m sorry to hear this, Susan. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers.
Claudia
OMG! OMG! ‘Talk about the abundance of TRIALS!
Margaret L.
Thinking of you and how you have worked your way thru so many obstacles placed in front of you. I admire and love you.
Dinah
Oh Sue, thinking only good things for you. ❤ Love you!
Sarah O.
My thoughts, prayers, and good wishes are with you Susan 🙏
Jeanette D.
Prayers. My sister had her breast removed. After the first cancer scare. She said just do it now and I will not worry as much. She had a clear scan now for years. Think she was in her 40’s and now I her 70’s.
Margaret L.
Serenity now indeed. 🥳
Lori
There are no words for what you are going through so instead I send hugs.
Heidi
Oh Sue sigh hugs ❤
Pep
Praying for a miracle
Elizabeth P.
🤟🙏
Meryl
❤️🙏
Pat
Oh no! Praying for you and sending you hugs.💕
Janeen
Sending all the love and strength I have. I’m so sorry you are going through this.
Gwen
I am deeply sorry to hear this. Praying for you.
Deborah
🙏
Ellen
Oh, Sue! Sending love, prayers and hugs. ♥️♥️♥️
Diane M.
Sue, early detection is the best! It is already a miracle and will continue to be! Sending hugs and strength!
Pierre
Sue, I wish you courage. I pray for you
Nancy P.
Thoughts are with you 💕
Narice
HUGE HUGS and lots of prayers
Maria P.G.
So sorry to hear this! Praying that all turns out well for you!🙏🏻🙏🏻❤️❤️
Cliff & Carrie
Good luck. Wish I could be of more help.
Donna N.F.
Prayers for quick healing. It sounds like you are in good hands with your medical team. 🙏❤️
Rosemary G
Sending love and a gathering of angels, my dear friend. You’re one of the strongest women I know! No one does it better than you! 💪💕
Vicki R.
Oh no.
heartfelt love and healing white light your way, special friend. 😍❤️😍
Ann B. H.
Also love and prayers. ❤
Jeff S.
Sorry about the cancer returning and will keep you in my thoughts for a good outcome.
Susan V.D.
All will be well
Marilyn W.R.
🙏🙏🙏🙏
Lisa M.
Wishing you the best
Ellen N.
Oh Susan I am so sorry to hear this – so stressful indeed. I am happy you have loads of good friends to walk with you but I know it’s not the same as having your rock with you. Will keep you in my prayers too! There is One who is watching over you! ❤️
Penny D.
OMG. You’ve fought and triumphed before, you’ll do it again. Thank goodness it was discovered very early and removed. All good thoughts to you!
Melissa D.
Sue so sorry dear…send hugs & purrs from me and Lily🐱❤️🤕😞💕❤️
Helaine B.
My friend since we are 14 years old had a double mastectomy 20 years ago. She has been in stage 4 for 20 years. She has visited 81 countries since her diagnosis. She lives a full life, is very active and keeps people laughing which she loves to do. She is a marvel.
Barbara S.
These “incidental findings” are horrifying but fortuitous. Things are
Never the same, I guess,
After a cancer diagnosis. Virtual hugs to you. And so let your friends be the new rock for you.
Candice S.
Prayers and good luck🙏🏻🥰🤗
Harriet G.
Praying for your health, Susan.
Ellen W.D.
prayers
Lucie
I’m so sorry to hear your news Sue. You really are continually mugged and blind-sided and I’m amazed how strong you are in coping with everything life throws at you – and now without the support of your Rock. I’m glad you are in good medical hands who seem very alert and able, and wish you so much going forward into your treatment.
Sharon
May Your “Miracle” be Granted my Friend! Especially during the Season of Hope!
Sending you prayers and hugs.
Prayers, hugs and love.
My dear friend sending you prayers and positive thoughts. You are loved.
My Susan,
I truly believe You will be well.
This tiny spot would not have been discovered for a long time so your vigilance and pro action will assure you of an excellent outcome.
I can probably understand a little of how you must feel due to my history;my heart goes out to you during such a stressful time.
But I truly believe you will be fine!
Try to stay in the moment. I know that’s hard and the hardest place is being in the not knowing as we’ve discussed before.
I am sending you my warmest virtual hugs and healing vibes.
When you read this you will already have a plan. Let the doctors be your safer net. You can just put one foot front of the other and follow their lead. They can be your rock now.
Ask for help. It gives others a chance to grow and gain confidence when they are helpers.
Sending much love. ❤️Forever, your lainie
Sis, my thoughts are with you prayers are being said. You continue to be strong!
Susan, you are incredible. An inspiration for me and your friends. You talk of “serenity” in a moment like
this. But you are right. How else could a sensible person such as you – or my Luigi, or a number of people I have had the privilege of meeting – react when faced with reality? You have taught and keep teaching us the secret of life. Thank you, my friend
Lady I am thinking of you and keeping positive thoughts that this will get taken care of in a good way. You will be well soon.
Susan, I am sending good thoughts, love and hugs to you. 💝
Lighting a candle and sending up prayers for you….healing hugs,
245
My thoughts and prayers are with you
Sending positive thoughts your way!
Sending lots of love and care. Sounds like a good surgeon! You are in good hands. I hope your friends that are close can be there for you!! 💕💕💕
My thoughts and prayers are with you.