I have been home for less than a week and have some nice things to report; things are falling into place. I was able to set things in motion while in Florida with mom and from here at home. My phone has been glued to my head since Tuesday.

Mom and me in front of our building
in NYC
photo by dad

Mom was transferred to the assisted living facility on Friday. I truly believe that if she had to stay in the lousy rehab much longer she might have died; it was that depressing. The food was that awful and compounding the issue was the tossing of the teeth into the garbage tragedy, making normal mastication impossible and my mother’s excuse for food even less of one; it was ground up into dog food.

She was picked up and brought to her new home and it is like a miracle; she began to come back to herself. She had lunch and loved the food, couldn’t wait for the next meal,. She was down to 83 pounds. She is presently in a transition apartment until her new place is in order. I engaged a 24 hour aide to assist her. I did not want her alone especially the first few days and since she was weak and fragile.

Saturday I called and she had to hang up or she’d be late for her exercise class. That’s progress! (It’s done while seated). I felt like I had sent my mother to the best sleep away camp ever.

While in Florida, we visited friends who had just moved down. After looking at the way my friend Rose’s new home was set up by her daughter, Joanne, I had a brainstorm. I engaged her to be me. She has gone back and forth from my mom’s apartment to the assisted living bringing necessary items and personal belongings. She has spent tireless hours on the internet looking at furniture, conferring with me, going to stores and making purchases. Joanne and her mom have been my guardian angels. I believe that we are surrounded by angels that we never see, we just don’t look hard enough.

Life pushes us down paths and we don’t see the serendipity until later. I met Rose a couple of years ago when she joined Weight Watchers; we always sat together, we became good friends, we had a soulful understanding despite the difference in ages.

And I met her lovely daughter, Joanne.

Rose and Joanne moved to Florida a short time before my mother’s mishap. I contacted Rose and told her we were going to be in Florida, but the way things were going I wasn’t sure whether we could meet. But last Saturday, we had dinner at Rose’s new home; she and Joanne served a beautiful meal. We were tired and beaten from recent events and were so happy for the visit. I looked at the way Joanne set up her mother’s home and bingo. It clicked.

A service was needed and a person was willing to perform it. A “job” was established. Most of the shopping has been done.

There is no way I could have achieved what was done from where I am in just a few days. It was a win-win situation for everyone involved. Joanne will continue visiting my mom with Rose to check in and see what’s going on. (My mom calls them “the girls.” I guess anyone under 80 is “a girl.”) As mom needs stuff Joanne can assist her. Joanne has a job and I have piece of mind.

I am so very grateful.And very much relieved.

editdeletereply lauritasita wrote on Sep 6, ’09, edited on Sep 6, ’09 All I could say is thank God everything fell into place the way it did. I love you! I remember that picture of you and mom!

reply pestep55 wrote on Sep 6, ’09, edited on Sep 6, ’09 Brings thoughts of part of verse to mind: Psalms 46:10 Let be, and know that I am God …You are correct that help comes in many forms when we need it most /:-)

reply blue130160 wrote on Sep 6, ’09 Glad you found a good place.. I fund it funny that you seen food as a factor. Not as a well.. Just eating right helps.. I’m glad you have your mother back.. I think were all with you here on this site. So you have plenty of prays.

reply jadedruid wrote on Sep 6, ’09 I’m glad you both have found a way to help your mom and feel good about where she is. It’s great to have someone nearby you know and trust. It makes the distance a little easier! Big hug

reply sousonne wrote on Sep 6, ’09 This all sounds wonderful! I had no doubt, though, that everything would fall into place. You did a great job!

reply greenwytch wrote on Sep 6, ’09 kismet. what a blessing for you all! ; D

reply tulipsinspring wrote on Sep 6, ’09 Sue that’s amazing, and what a blessing those friends are!!! I want so much to help my friend from a distance the one whose mother is so ill, and I have been trying to enlist friends from back home. It’s not easy to find people willing to jump in that way. I’m so glad it fell into place, and that your mom is happier. Now don’t forget to take care of you, you have to be ok to help her. And your friends are true angels, I feel relieved too. Hugs!!!

reply gypsy4you wrote on Sep 6, ’09 Wonders never cease! WTG

reply caffeinatedjo wrote on Sep 6, ’09 This reminds me of that song by Alabama…”Angels Among Us”. So glad things are coming together and your mom is doing better. Hugs.

reply forouzandeh wrote on Sep 6, ’09 Faith that things will work out overcomes everything ~ the situation a person is in and how much attention they are receiving at the end of life makes a big difference .. and the attention must not be simply focused on them, I would think. I can remember 2 of my Hospice patients that I spent a lot of time with ~ they were always happy when the “people who didn’t know what to do or say” would leave and they could just get on with their lives,what little was left. It sounds like your mom was in a grim circumstance for sure and so lucky in her life to have a daughter who loves her so much and put things in order. How blessed she now has new friends too! I went to a Tai Chi in chairs meeting at a very nice retirement home here once. I didn’t realize when I went (a community program) that it would be mostly composed of the residents. They were SO much fun and just the simple movements is so good for them. I figure, “keep moving” the the motto I have to live by for the rest of my life. I’m not good at it always ~ but I’ve learned a bit from you sharing all of this.I’m so very happy for her and especially happy for you ~ that this wasn’t so “life-changing” for you in a negative way ~ but rather one in which you can look back and see how beautifully things unfold through time.

reply philsgal7759 wrote on Sep 6, ’09 How cool and so happy your Mom is getting settled and loving her new home

reply starfishred wrote on Sep 6, ’09 Yes we do have angles hovering and isn’t it lovely one of yours camr to light wonderful-

reply kwika wrote on Sep 7, ’09 Hugs

reply catfishred wrote on Sep 7, ’09 This is fantastic news. Your mother looks like you in everything but those enormous ‘tinderbox cat’ eyes of yours. Must be an inheritance by your father, which I always thought amazingly striking. Yes, I too believe in ‘angels unawares’, as they’ve appeared to me in human form when I most needed them. I have big smiles for you right now and am wishing the best. Now take a much needed rest, go to the Met Club and partake of some of that exquisite cuisine!

reply billatplay wrote on Sep 7, ’09 Happy for you both, Mum and you. Return and check after one month.

reply suggar202 wrote on Sep 7, ’09 Hugs

reply akunakumara wrote on Sep 7, ’09 Your lives are in joyful abundance ……………Abundance getting what you need when you need it.

reply quinkento wrote on Sep 7, ’09 sanssouciblogs said Joanne has a job and I have piece of mind. Now that is truly a stimulus. I am glad things worked out so well for you and your mother. This was a real blessing.

reply ruraldiva wrote on Sep 7, ’09 So happy for all of you that things had a way of turning out. Cheers

reply opossumd wrote on Sep 19, ’09 I bet you are breathing sighs of relief (I am after reading through the whole misadventure-turned-for-better). I just wanted to comment on the picture above showing your mum and you: you look so alike! This is what they say about my mum and me – we have so much in common, sis.