I began my day with the intention of completing a load of paperwork. I had forms to fill out; before doing so I like to make copies to have an extra blank set just in case. My all-in-one printer which I have had since 2006 spat out strange looking copies: they reminded me of of a street that had just been routed before paving. There were rectangles and squares of hundreds of minute lines where graphics and text should have been. No matter what I did I couldn’t get a normal copy. And, of course it was working fine last evening.

I called Canon and described my plight and the technician responded with: “Hmmm.”

You know that’s bad.

“I’ve never heard of anything like that in all my years of working here,” he said.

That’s really bad.

I was put on hold several times while he consulted a “level two technician.” He had me scan and email what the printer was producing.

“Geez, I didn’t expect THAT,” he said in alarm. “That’s crazy!”

We did a lot of trouble shooting: rebooting, powering off and discharging, I changed a cartridge, I printed from scans (no problem) and made color copies (that seemed to work as the main black cartridge was not employed however, the areas that should have been black were gray.) But when all was said and done, the printer was deemed, done.

The technician offered me a loyalty discount for a new unit.  As the machine was no longer supported there was no guarantee that I could get a replacement part and if I could, that it would work.

The Pixma Twins: 2006 and 2007

But it just so happens that I have TWO of these PIXMA MP 830’s, the first one was the one purchased in 2006 and a month after the warranty the paper feeder swallowed a mouse cord. It was a strange sight watching an alien cord coming out with a sheet of paper. Needless to say, we can’t be without a printer/scanner and bought another one but the mouse-eater was fixed by a nice guy who didn’t charge me and honored the warranty. This unit does a great job and I am very dependent on it. I like Canon because it is one of the companies that doesn’t use one-cartridge for color and black, rather there is a cartridge for each color this a lot less waste. Why toss out the whole thing if you just need to replace yellow?

I always have backup ink in the house; there’s nothing like running out in the middle of a page or project, hence, I have spent a lot of money on my number 8’s and the big black number 5.

So, I figure, Canon has made me an offer for a new unit, but hey! There’s another one in the next room that served my son well when he was away at school. It was sitting idle for a couple of years.

I removed the printer on my desk, hooked up the one that was lying fallow and got ready to finish copying what I set out to do more than an hour later.

Push button … power on … I decided to check the ink heads and clean them. Everything was ready for lift-off. Click … whirr … the paper was fed and came out … BLANK. That’s right. White. Nada. I must be delusional.

I called canon tech support back. I explained that I had just gotten off the phone with a technician shortly before and that computer number 1’s print head was deemed done. Another test After an exchange of print heads and finding that the second machine now had the faulty DNA of the first and it was printing crazy blocks of lines where copy and graphics should be, it was evident that something really strange was going on. Back with the other print head, hit copy, invisible print job shoots out.

Technician number 2 deems the second print head done. The unit sat on a desk motionless for about two years, but the day I need it, the day its twin separated at birth decided to conk out for good, in sympathy, it died. The copier part that is. So two units have working scanners, faxes (which I never use anyway) and a lot of back up ink.

Could it possibly be that there is a little gremlin with a timer in these units? The planned obsolescence timer? Are these things programmed to self destruct? I assume so.

Enter the latest model: the MX922

It takes ink: 250 and 251: notice that 250 and 251 is not the same as 5 and 8.

This is where these companies make their money, on ink, not the printer, just like cell phone providers make their bucks on selling the data plans and all the unnecessary other stuff you don’t need, the phone is just their money-making tool.

Before I run out and start shopping for a new printer/scanner I am going to marvel at my RCA PRO Lyceum television that I have had since 1980. I bet you anything it will outlive your flat screen.