This is the latest issue of New York Magazine; I’ve been reading it for years. Sometimes I love it, sometimes I don’t know why I still subscribe, but I always enjoy doing the crossword puzzle.

Yesterday, my day wasn’t great: I thought I felt well, but as I was doing some work, my eyes stopped converging and I felt a vertigo attack coming on. Some of the vertigo attacks have been beyond awful. Thankfully, I have only experienced horrendous seasickness attacks from that kind once. I have had severe vertigo at the dining room table, at my desk, away from home, in a restaurant—where the waiter saw me at the table—I was fine three minutes prior and had just come back from the bathroom—gripping the edge of the table, unable to open my eyes or talk, indicating to him I was having a dizzy episode; he ran and got ice which I put on my head and neck. My body thermostat had gone berserk and it felt like the Caribbean after a hurricane. No, this was not your average, typical hot flash.

Within fifteen minutes I had to be in my seat at the theater. I don’t know how I made it to or through that play.

But, back to yesterday.

I felt exhausted and decided to lie down with my kindle. (No ambient light shines from it). Within a few minutes the lack of eye convergence (seeing double) returned. I took deep breaths and then a nap.

An hour and a half later, I checked my phone and saw a message from a friend who was actually pointing this article I will share with you, out to me. Except, I was convinced that facebook messenger had mismatched her name and avatar. It made no sense. I recognized the face but not the name. This happened with a few more messages, and now I was beginning to feel agitated: was I having a stroke? Is this what happened to me last year when I was shipped to the E.R.?

I went downstairs and family were speaking to me. It was hard to process the information let alone respond to it, and yet I was determined to cook and proceeded to do so, still feeling wonky.

The news was on: a newscaster mentioned “Billy Joel.” I knew I knew the name, I had an association of the name and the place here in New York, but for the life of me, I thought he was young. Billy. I had to google him. I had to google Billy Joel.

I took my typical pain-migraine pill and the scary fog that was creating a veil between me and reality, began to lift. I began to feel more like myself but I was zonked! I went to bed early, I just needed to sleep more.

What can cause this? Consider a chemical reaction. To oneself. No one really knows. Like I said yesterday for some there are triggers and for some there are none. NOBODY really knows but “they” are trying to figure it out. With me it is often the barometer.

Well, my friend Barbara, whom I didn’t recognize in my messages yesterday, pointed me to the article I want to share with you. My copy of New York had just arrived a bit earlier today. The descriptions, of a migraine attack are on point: I get them all. The article leads to another talk about the new migraine drug that has been approved. From the looks of things, a component of migraine is a brain chemical, CGRP.

Now YOU should understand that a migraine is not a headache, certainly not a typical one, but there can be pain and so much else.
I’ve tried all the meds, thirty+ shots of Botox to the head and neck, gadgets, machines, meditation, feedback, special lights, massage, acupuncture, frequency therapy, Chinese herbs…

Like I said yesterday, some doctors are not eager to rush a patient into a $575/mo treatment that is currently not covered by insurance, but I understand how every migraine sufferer is more hopeful, and dying to try another thing; dying for that cure.
I am one of them.

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