Sans Souci
122. Mother-Daughter Journey: The Roller Coaster of Care Giving
If you think that looking at the above roller coaster clip is enough to make you ill, here is another one for you. I was all set to work on this new blog. I was going to tell you that I spoke with my mom late yesterday afternoon and she was so on target, so responsive and open and appeared to be processing information so well. I said to myself, “Self, we are now on a roll. It’s all good. It’s all normal. It was all a bad dream and we’ve awakened to a new day. We are healed!” I … Continue reading →
121. Mother-Daughter Journey: When the Connection is Lost
My mother before a visit to the retinal specialist in October photo taken by one of the aides I don’t know how to say this so I will just let the words fly; my mother is losing it. Each day a few more crumbs of her fall to imaginary birds, called “paranoia.” This evening I brought over her rent and had to collect her mail. These are two very innocuous activities except when emotional interaction plays a part. My mother suffers, as you know, from partial blindness due to macular degeneration. She hasn’t had her eye injection in … Continue reading →
Steller Story: NYC Photo Journal: On Healthcare
My latest Steller story has been posted. A commentary on healthcare. Click on the “book” below and turn the pages.
Continue reading →120. Mother-Daughter Journey: In Caring For The Elderly: When You Become the Enemy
Here I am again, fighting off some kind of bug. I sat on the couch with a blankie and a kitty on my lap and the phone began to ring. It hasn’t stopped. Just when I thought things were quieting down into a buzzing, catatonic lull, here we go again. My mother has been home for a couple of weeks and things were beginning to fall into place. (On second thought, maybe I better not use the word FALLING.) One aide comes at 7:00 am and stays until 4:00 pm. The second aide comes at 5:00 pm and leaves at … Continue reading →
119. Mother-Daughter Journey: How the Elderly Think
The thing with the elderly is this: everything can be fine one minute and wacky the next. It’s like dealing with a person with a borderline personality disorder; they can easily lash out at the people they have the closest relationship with and that is because paranoia takes over, mistrust and miscommunication is common as are mood swings. And, it is said that whatever a person is like in younger years, traits are exaggerated in the older years. My mother began to function better once home from her month-long hospital stay. Returning home was disorienting but in many ways it … Continue reading →
118. Mother-Daughter Journey: Back in the Saddle Again
…or: How to get a soon-to-be 100 year old woman with a fractured pelvis home from the hospital Alerts: Drama included An endless tale 1/10/18 Well, buckaroos, my mother is back on her ranch and what a day it was yesterday. It began the previous evening while I was glued to the kitchen, during the dinner hour, the message left by the hospital social worker indicated that we would work on this the following day, yesterday. And so the phone rang, and rang, and the day just kept going as if it were beset by Mercury-in-Retrograde, full of communications; lack … Continue reading →
117. Mother-Daughter Journey: That Was Easy
Luckily, my mother’s doctor gave me his cell phone number and told me to text him if necessary. I told him las night that my mother should NOT be discharged today, not in this weather and not in her physical shape. He agreed. After dealing with the heartless, bureaucratic folks over at the hospital I thought that pleading my mother’s case—not to be thrown into the freeze—would be futile, BUT, I called this morning, told her that I had spoken to the doctor and that we conferred that my mother should not be discharged. “OK.” And I … Continue reading →
116. Mother-Daughter Journey: Stormy Weather
“When are you picking her up?,” the social worker asked. “I am NOT picking her up. I am not transporting a ninety-nine year old woman with a fractured hip in a car without the help of an aide or otherwise. (The aides don’t come to the hospital). She has to come home in an ambulette in a wheelchair.” And, everything has to be IN PLACE or NO GO.” Medicare pays for twenty days of physical therapy in a hospital. My mother’s benefit allegedly ended today; I received a call from the hospital social worker informing me that … Continue reading →
Song in my Head: Where or When?
This morning at about 4:00 am, my witching hour, I awakened to this song in my head, my teen years, an earlier, care-free time. My auditory memory was precise, harmony and all. Lately, I’ve been drowning in nostalgia. 1959 is a reoccurring motif in my life, it even appears in my book. I have been here before; but who knows where or when? Better yet–who knows what happened to my album? Dion & The Belmonts .
Continue reading →Thank you!
A note of thanks to everyone who comes by to read, to leave a comment, to send a private note. Thank you for all of your support; it means a lot. Know that you are very much appreciated. Sue, at SansSouciBlogs
Continue reading →115: Mother-Daughter Journey: And Now: She’s baaaaack!
… this. Yesterday, Saturday, 12/30, twenty-four hours after the visit to my mother that left me in a sleepless fog, the phone rang. I had just gotten out of the shower. The caller ID displayed the name of the hospital. My gut was alarmed. I answered. It was my mother. She has my number perfectly memorized, even with the addition of the nine before the number to get a line out. “Hi, it’s mommy.” Her voice sounded stronger. How are you? What are you doing? “I just got out of the shower, I’m OK.” “Oh then don’t let me keep … Continue reading →
114. Mother-Daughter Journey: Tossing and Turning
Yesterday, Friday, 12/29, did me in emotionally; it was gray and frigid and the wind battering the hospital came in Arctic gusts. I was never so happy to be inside of a building. Even a hospital. Up to the third floor. My self-assignment was to visit my mother and to case the joint. I wanted a clearer mental picture of the lay of the land. It was about 4:00 pm when I got to the floor and I asked for nurse Marilyn who was so very nice to me on the phone. We looked at one another and hugged. … Continue reading →
113. Mother-Daughter Journey: That Evening Sun Go Down
s. kalish/key west 2007 Well, so much for escape and diversion. One of my biggest anxieties is that the phone might ring in the middle of the night. I am not sure which is worse: having a nurse call at 3:00 am or my mother; neither is a good sign. Note, this is MY anxiety, it hasn’t happened. Guilt got me. I hadn’t spoken to my mother in a couple of days and I was beginning to get a strange feeling in my gut two night ago at around 9:00 pm. The phone rang. It was my mother. This … Continue reading →
112: Mother-Daughter Journey: Diversion
What better thing to do on Christmas day? A blog, of course. A Merry Christmas to all! As I was drinking my coffee this morning I was thinking of writing about some of my diversions. You see, when one is under stress, one needs diversions. Those of us who are “creative” can escape for a while into our own heads while the world around us spins. I know the spin well: it leads to vertigo, anxiety, migraines. I am learning to hold in less, speak up more and live in the moment. Sometimes. One of my biggest fears is the … Continue reading →
111. Mother-Daughter Journey: What I Forgot to Say … or, What I Repressed
I posted my previous blog and realized that I was carrying around some information that I buried. I received this information shortly after my mother entered the hospital a little over a week ago. Because my mother has a pelvic fracture, and due to the fact that the x-rays were not clear, a sonogram was performed. That’s when the position of the fracture was revealed. And then someone at the hospital called me to add that a mass was found on my mother’s ovary. They wanted to follow-up with tests. Probably do a biopsy. This info was shared with my … Continue reading →
110. Mother-Daughter Journey: Here We Go Again
Well, folks, I am back on track with a new Mac computer and that has made my computer-ing so much easier. I am feeling better though not 100%; that is OK. It is the first day of Winter and the ride will begin lightening. But, there is still my mom. After the fiasco with the ambulance bringing her to the wrong hospital, it was straightened out after a few hours on the phone. Yup, typical Mercury-in-Retrograde kind of stuff. They kept her on a medical floor a few days and moved her a floor below to a transitional unit for … Continue reading →
Evan Kalish’s Latest Media Appearance: 12/14/17 on NPR
Evan is the second speaker. http://wnpr.org/post/neither-snow-nor-rain-nor-heat Postlandia 2018 Calendar by Evan Kalish (Calendar) – Lulu Lulu.com http://www.lulu.com/shop/evan-kalish/postlandia-2018-calendar/calendar/product-23311107.html
Continue reading →109: Mother-Daughter Journey: My Several Days of Relief
What I forgot to tell you seems ironically irrelevant at this time, but just as my computer went down a couple of weeks ago, just as I was getting ill, I was in a store when my phone rang. I recognized the number. Let me rewind: For nine months I had been fighting with my mother’s managed long term care (Medicaid) to fill in the hours she lost when she outlived her private pay insurance. This was to no avail despite a “Fair Hearing,” despite several requests for re-evaluations. It left me scrambling to cover meal and bedtime hours and … Continue reading →
108. Mother-Daughter Journey: After The (Second) Fall
Last we spoke I told you about the fall of my steadfast computer; I don’t know how many days have passed since I have been acclimating myself to an iPad and keyboard. My new one is ready for pick-up but I am too tired to care. My health has been a blur from a rhinovirus that is making its way across Long Island, hence my fall into semi-oblivion, two naps a day for over two weeks. There have been more falls: last Thursday my mother fell when leaving her bathroom (while the aide was there.) Her need to feel independent … Continue reading →




















