The family album I made for a birthday; my mother shows it to everyone I was wiped out yesterday after another marathon day on the phone. There was nothing left of me, no words to write, so I will try today, to piece yesterday and today together. I tried to get in touch with my mother’s primary doctor in hopes of her contacting Medicare to request an aide; there was no call back or response to my emails and call; I tried to get in touch with the doctor from the rehab who put my mother on Hospice care but … Continue reading →

“we should all be as strong and beautiful as the tree outside my window”   Yesterday was my mother’s ninety-fifth birthday; the sickliest child grew up and outlived three siblings. I still find it amazing. My mother always believed in natural medicine and read extensively about homeopathy and natural cures. She subscribes to several doctors’ newsletters. She would always ask if I took my CoQ10. I do. Now she is surrounded by hospice nurses who do not know what CoQ10 is. She had a quiet day but perked up in the latter part of the afternoon in time for a … Continue reading →

This photo was used for an ID button from the Brooklyn Army Base during the war Today is supposed to be my day off, a break, a little serenity. I’ll be going, hopefully to Brooklyn, where my parents grew up, to the Brooklyn Museum, my favorite Peruvian restaurant and to a show. My head and heart are floating somewhere. I go through motions and as I do life gnaws at me. The phone rang. That was it. The Hospice nurse called to say my mother has pneumonia and the crisis team was going back in to do round the clock … Continue reading →

Honeymoon in the “country” It is Wednesday evening and I am looking back at the day. It was one of the few where my time spent on the phone did not consume the usual entire day. There were pockets of time spent conferring with aides and nurses. The time that was calm was almost frightening. Too good to be true. Until the phone rang just as I was sitting down to dinner. Just after I took the first sip of wine I have had in over a month. The aide sounded frantic. She had left to go shopping and the … Continue reading →

My mother at ninety-four, July 2012, and as a young woman. Saturday, March 9, 2013 Before I left for an afternoon appointment I was in touch with the aides and their supervisor. My mother was at home with three shifts of round the clock care and  hospice nurses that were on twenty-four hour duty. My mother had more attention than she had ever dreamed of. But –there is always something for me to take care of and this time it was firing the day Hospice nurse. She had a cough. I complained. Loudly. They sent someone else. My day was … Continue reading →

1980’s At Busch Gardens The plan is this: my mother will be going to a medical appointment this Friday, will return to the rehab center and then be picked up by Vitas Hospice and taken home. I always thought that hospice services were for the dying or for cancer patients but they aren’t necessarily. The goal is to have compassionate treatment and to make one’s quality of life better through comfort. They’ll give her plenty of extra care and attention and we’ll take it one day at a time. The diagnosis: failure to thrive. My mother is eighty-three pounds. There … Continue reading →