Author Archives: Sans Souci

237.→Husband Journey: Resurrection

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I have spent a good two weeks contacting what felt like endless institutions; about a dozen, in fact. Institutions that have been responsible for banking, retirement, investments, pensions, all that good stuff I never think about on a daily basis if at all: the legalese behind it. The weight of the statements. Five years of statements are needed as part of applying for a nursing home. It’s likely that I had all of these treasures already, but things became disorganized here, more so than I would like to admit, in a household that always gave the illusion of the “everything … Continue reading →

236.→Husband Journey: Where Is home?

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  What is a home? It used to be where our family resided, together. Now it is broken and about to be reconfigured. At this time, Robert’s Medicare coverage in the rehab has expired. The statements arrive in the mail, endless papers with printed numbers that sometimes exceed my ability to imagine. Anyone who touches or talks to Robert puts in their dibs. So now what? Let me explain what is happening. Robert cannot come home. He needs equipment to lift him, he needs people to help him. With everything. None of his activities of daily living can be achieved … Continue reading →

235.→Husband Journey: Ignorance is Bliss

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  It all began in March of 2009: we went to a recommended legal team on Queens Boulevard that was recommended by the United Federation of Teachers, aka, The UFT and had important papers put in place: our wills, powers of attorney, health care proxies, etc. We sat in a room and initialed page after page. The documents were signed off and notarized. We received the originals and made a bunch of copies. It was a big chore, an emotionally difficult chore and it was done. The documents were put in a container never to be looked at for years. … Continue reading →

234.→Husband Journey: Emotion Linked by Photographs

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  Dear Alan and Jerri, Today I woke to sun and birds and rolled over, in peace and quiet, a moment of serenity, and fell asleep again until about 10:00. I am peaceful until I am officially “up” and I drag myself out of bed to face another day. I opened the door to find today’s The Times and a mailer tube, which I assumed was for Evan and then was surprised to find it was from you. On one end, there was criss-crossed tape and adhered to it were 4 tiny insects that somewhere along the journey had hitched … Continue reading →

233.→Husband Journey: The Soda Scheme

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August 1, 2019 Taken at a café in Queens, NY, The French Workshop French Sodas (iPXsMax)   Yesterday I had a nice phone chat with the speech therapist at Robert’s facility. She went and got the things I had mentioned that I had brought and used them; the award letter, the book of art to stimulate conversation. She asked questions, Robert told her that she didn’t have to quiz him. I suppose he knows things are different, that everyone is coming at him with questions, but with questions come tension: he is put on the spot and it is hard … Continue reading →

232. →Husband Journey: Letting Go Of Collections…and People

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Once a saver … letting go…part of the collection I’ve amassed “He cannot be left in the room unattended.” I suppose that since Robert is now out of quarantine, he has joined the ranks of the triaged in rehab. This morning I received a FaceTime call and was linked to Robert who was near a window lined with plants in what seemed to be a large, light-filled room. (turned out to be “the dining room”) We looked at one another. He viewed himself on the screen. He said he looked good. (I cringed.) Of course you do, I said, why … Continue reading →

231. →Husband Journey: 107 to 118

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  And so for an update. Robert has been moved up a floor to the second. Apparently he had been in quarantine for two weeks despite his two negative Covid tests at The Hebrew Home: he came from “the outside” and that is the protocol. “Did you know we have to use a Hoyer lift?” said the nurse on duty during a call. So that is what it is. A Hoyer lift, that device for people who can’t move themselves. No, I answered, and I am not surprised. Robert needs TOTAL care. No, he cannot stand, or walk. No, he … Continue reading →

230. Mother-Daughter Journey Redux: 100 Years of You

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  100 years of you became 102 years of you. 102 years of you left behind a pile of birthday and Mother’s Day cards, excluding those from the Florida days. Found in a bureau drawer. Some were glittery, some were funny, some were cartoony, some were serious, some were from art museums, some were from the family, some were from me, some were. She is no longer. She was outlived by paper. When you find the things left behind you realize so much, it hits home: you really can’t take it with you. It’s all borrowed; everything you own. Anything … Continue reading →

A Digital Movie From 2002

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JHS class of 1928   My father attended the Germain School of Photography on the G.I. Bill after WW II; there he learned all kinds of photography skills: the history, the how-to’s, darkroom skills and camera repair. He worked, doing camera repair, in my parent’s bedroom after his regular job as a shipping clerk. He had an ad in Popular Photography for his little business, Precision Camera Repair. The cameras would come in limping and he would fix them. My job was to take them to the post office on East 14th Street (Manhattan) to be shipped back. This is … Continue reading →

229.→Husband Journey: Home Is Where the Art Is

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I have published a book of Robert’s art works     The Robert update: Well folks, after a talk with the physical therapist, occupational therapist and speech therapist, as well as the social worker, on Thursday, 3/4, all of my observations made from afar were validated and I learned much more. This is, to me, is the saddest of situations: Robert is refusing to participate in physical therapy. He is oppositional to the occupational therapist. The speech therapist, also observes that tight, jaw-clench, facial grimace and growl. Everyone is scratching their heads; they don’t know what to do. Those who … Continue reading →

228.→Husband Journey: Let’s Make A Deal

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      This beautiful letter and award from Dalton Whiteside, of CCNY, arrived a few days ago. I asked that it not be sent to him directly as it might get lost. One day I showed him the plaque during a FaceTime call. I could see that he didn’t have the focus to listen to the letter so I waited for another day and then read it to him. “Isn’t that nice?” I asked. He said . “Yes.” But I wondered how much he got out of my reading. Still, I felt he knew it was something good and … Continue reading →

The Puzzler: The New York Times: Wed., 2/17/21

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WORDPLAY, THE CROSSWORD COLUMN Where Edelweiss Grows David Harris makes his New York Times Crossword debut in a collaboration with Evan Kalish.Edelweiss flowers grow on rocky terrain in the Tyrolean Alps near Hinterbichl, Austria. It is a rare plant that has a deep tradition in local folk and national alpine cultures.Credit…Sean Gallup, via Getty Images Link to article: constructor notes  

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226.→Husband Journey: The Sans Souci Art Museum [Gallery 5]

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  Welcome to the 5th Sans Souci art gallery. This section of the museum will close after this exhibit. But save your ticket, you will be returning. The stories will continue. A health update: I have had one FaceTime call which upset me. Robert’s voice is weaker. The man who never shut up, who knew everything, who read every page of The New York Times, daily, had little to say. The onus is on the caller to be neutral and to keep things rolling. Robert does not initiate, ask questions, offer much beyond “OK.” He’s been working on intonation in … Continue reading →

225.→Husband Journey: The Sans Souci Art Museum [Gallery 4]

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  The Robert Update: Robert has tested negative for Covid twice which gives him the “freedom” to move out of a Covid facility and back to where he had come from in Queens, however, at the time of this writing, the social worker from where he is has not had any communication from the Queens facility since she left a message last Friday. I would just as soon he stay in a rehab at his resent location in the Bronx, for now, as I can’t visit him anyway. All this moving is very disorienting to everyone involved. I asked for … Continue reading →

The Puzzler: The Wall Street Journal Tuesday, 2/9/21

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(disregard the September date, they made an error) https://www.wsj.com/articles/here-comes-trouble-tuesday-crossword-september-10-11612719458       Review  Evan Kalish’s Wall Street Journal crossword, “Here Comes Trouble!”—Jim P’s review I’m going to start off-topic here because Evan’s title for this puzzle reminds me of his post office escapades. You’ve probably done plenty of Evan’s puzzles, but you probably don’t know he has this whole other life of visiting and documenting America’s post offices. At current count, he’s been to more than 10,000 in all 50 states in the past 10 years. He’s been interviewed by NPR, featured on the BBC, and runs his own blog … Continue reading →

224.→Husband Journey: The Sans Souci Art Museum [Gallery 3]

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From health update to trip to the Sans Souci Museum featuring Robert’s art. Last Friday’s Covid swab results finally came in, days later: negative. We are still in limbo. He has to return to the previous rehab; the current facility is not taking new patients. The previous facility is where he got Covid and had three falls from bed. Who know what is happening today? He’s become a nomad. And note: the word mad is in nomad. For several days I tried to reach him; he doesn’t answer the phone assigned to him. I leave messages for the staff to … Continue reading →

223. →Husband Journey: The Sans Souci Art Museum [Gallery 2]

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Health update to art show … It is February 2, 2021. Yesterday there was a heavy, sideways-snow covering us. I am in one borough of NYC, Robert is in another and has been for weeks. He’s been sent hither and yon into the hospital, then a rehab, back to the hospital, to another rehab. He tested positive for Covid on January 4th: he contracted it while in the rehab. We have become untethered: His brain is slowly unwinding. This past year it became most obvious and then the process began to speed up in June and more-so in September. He … Continue reading →

222. Mother-Daughter→Husband Journey: The Sans Souci Art Museum [Gallery 1]

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  From health update to trip to the Sans Souci Museum featuring Robert’s art.   There is nothing new to report except that yesterday, the physician’s assistant I spoke to indicated that those who are in the Covid unit are treated for Covid and all other issues are secondary. Life is on hold. A person can test positive for covid for weeks after infection. Finally, the team meeting is scheduled for Monday afternoon. I’ll see what the plan is. I find myself looking back at creations that touched me in earlier days. Bring together color, tactility, words and a special … Continue reading →

221. Mother-Daughter→Husband Journey: What, Me Worry?

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  Well friends, it has been almost a week since Robert arrived to The Bronx rehab. I was supposed to receive a call from his “team.” I never did. Oh “tomorrow.’ I never did. Sunday I received a call from the social worker on his “team.” I was promised a call Monday. I never received one. So I called. As it turned out the same social worker was eventually on the list I bounced around on. “Oh yes, Denise, We spoke yesterday, you said you were going to go to my husband’s room with a phone and call me.” (How … Continue reading →