Blogging for Breast Cancer: Part 19: “I have no insurance but, I have faith” -Leslie Helene Elder (repost)
This is an annual re-post of a blog from my series, “Blogging for Breast Cancer.” I feel it is imperative to share it every year in memory of my High School friend, Leslie Elder.
This is why we need health insurance that is affordable and comprehensive.
This is what could happen if without such it.
It is not a luxury, it is a human right.
Dedicated to the Elder family.
Here I sit on a beautiful afternoon. Shadows of trees cross my neighbor’s window. For some strange reason, birds sing like it’s spring in defiance of the calendar. But I am not happy.
Let’s look back a couple of years. A high school classmate found me on classmates.com and then on facebook. Though we didn’t know each other well, the past and its mutual memories were the cement of friendship. Leslie had read about my book and wanted to buy it. Through my book that looks back we began to look forward. Together. You see, Leslie and I learned we were bosom buddies. We had both survived breast cancer, but Leslie had lost both breasts–and more–and she was determined to do the Koman walk.
I gave her a donation. She wrote back:
“Thank you so much Susan. I really feel that just being in the crowd of women who get to see that I have survived four times will be encouraging to one of them. This year I can hardly walk but I’m going to do my best. I will have my husband take pictures!! And God Bless you for helping. I know that sometimes people do not like to donate to these foundations because of one thing or another but it is the event that counts. It is the fact that the Koman Foundation puts on this Race, where thousands of women show up and it is a few hours of being with someone who knows exactly what you have gone through or going through. Lots of women cannot believe what I look like when they hear I survived losing two breasts, a kidney and 10% of my other kidney. And then I still don’t know how I’m doing because I have no insurance to check on the kidney cancer. But, I have faith. I believe that the Universe wants me here now and when it is time to go, I’ll go. I couldn’t handle hearing those words again. And I’ve told my family that too. My daughter said I’m selfish. Well, that may be but I’ll be 62. I raised a beautiful smart child who is self sufficient and my life was my journey…..anything that happens I’m ready. By the way, I’ll be in New York (God willing) March 15-20 +/-. Jackie opens at Lincoln Center and since there are different programs every night I have to stay and see all the ones she is in. I am not telling her. Even though I could stay there and save money, I don’t want her to know. This way I get to see her really perform.
Again, Susan, thank you, thank you…..and I have not finished the book because I have been in serious pain. I read a little at a time and it brings tears to my eyes.
I’ll talk to you again.
Love you
I’m strong – Life Warrior is my nickname!”
I am thinking that when I was sixteen years old I would never believe that cancer was in my future. I never would have believed that I would ever be as old as I am now. Oh, youth is bliss, and yes, so is ignorance, but reality, well that’s another story. Then there is Leslie, a woman my age who continues to be courageous despite ongoing pain and suffering and at the same time has no health insurance. I never imagined middle class people without health insurance! I have taken so much for granted.
Watch this video about Leslie.
She wrote:
“Did you see the clip of me ? The video??
My daughter told me I was selfish because I would want to die. I asked if she would like to hear those words again. I know she meant it to say that she did not want anything to happen to me.
I have been so active in the political arena in health care reform. Health care. We don’t have any in this country. We have only greed. The health insurance companies just pick and choose who will live and who will die. That’s what I keep saying. I was interviewed for hours by CNN, they used nothing I said. I was interviewed by the BBC and the reporter kept crying. People who come from these other countries just cannot believe that we don’t take care of one another and I am so sick of pleading. But I won’t give up. I will keep on opening my mouth. I had begun a book about a little girl growing up in New York who wanted to be on stage and she instead spends 25 years of her life living in cancer’s ball park. But she kicks ass. She’s not afraid and has never thought of dying. Her first memories are that she was never afraid to die just embarrassed to lose her hair. Never death, just oh no my gorgeous hair. I have written a lot but it also takes a lot out of you because I am talking about me. There is no fiction except for the way it is written. I go to bed and wake up and draw, and everything I do just constantly reminds me that I am alone. My physical body is mine and it is broken. And it is so hard to talk about it. I hate that there are no others out there willing to stand up but it will happen someday. We cannot get our hopes up too high but you can bank on me fighting… I never give up”
“The show I was talking about is the opening premier of the Martha Graham Dance Company. She (Leslie’s daughter) opens March 15 and I believe I’m coming on the 15th in the afternoon and staying until Monday the 21st of March. I have to be close to Lincoln Center because I can’t walk very good, look great but walk like a monster…… that is the show I am coming up to see. BUT it is a secret. I don’t want her to know and there are reasons for that. But I will write to you soon. I need to gather my strength to be there. I may not walk but I’ll be proud in the crowd.
Thanks Susan, I’m ready for this, it will be the beginning of a great new start for me. Although I slipped the noose of debt around my neck I had to do it. Susan, so far it is $22,000.00. I have not factored in the cost of the rehab. They will be coming here because to go to a rehab center for 10 days is $650.00 a day or something ridiculous. So, when you go home they send PT’s and nurses and it is $125.00 a day. I am grateful to have an open line of credit on the equity in my home. Only thing is, my house is in foreclosure. Banks are right on top of everything aren’t they.”
“I’m counting on coming to walk in my town New York in September!!!! I hope we will get together. No, we will get together!!! I realize at this point in life, everyone who came through my journey somehow, however they showed and left were a lesson and to get to see you again will be a part of the exquisite plan of the Universe. I have read your book three times and each time I cry. Cry for happy. I am so very grateful that I found you. I’ll be home by Saturday and can be reached by phone.
All my love.”
Now please read this extremely important article about Leslie and learn why she doesn’t have health insurance:
Crush of cancer, medical bills snares family
http://www.cnn.com/2009/HEALTH/10/13/cancer.insurance.finances/index.html
And now listen: There are 47,000 people without health insurance. They go without medication: men, women and children. And they suffer. Just like Leslie Helene Elder who lost two breasts to cancer, a kidney and part of another kidney. She could no longer afford health insurance and her pre-existing condition made her uninsurable. Unable to have follow-up exams.
Getting back to why I am not happy. I learned today that Leslie Helene Elder, the Life Warrior, died this past August. Uninsured.
May you be well and may you always have health insurance.
And may your health insurance not penalize you for a pre-existing condition.
The one thing that we have to thank being this old for, is that we have Medicare. And no matter how bad we get, or how old we get, they can’t drop us!
Why the hell can’t we do that for everyone!?