Category Archives: Blog
183. Mother-Daughter Journey: On Pipes and Wires and Birds
5/25/20 A pipe broke under the sink and we had no real kitchen access for a couple of days; these things always seem to happen on a holiday weekend. Some people say that when there is a broken pipe and a flood, it is due to all the negative energy in the environment. There may be some truth to that. Just has the plumber completed the changing of pipes, just as he left, wearing his mask, having done a good job, just as he left and I was going to eat breakfast and get the kitchen back in order, you … Continue reading →
182. Mother-Daughter Journey: Duty
Memorial Day, 2020 In honor of those who have served the country and who still do. In honor of those who serve others. In honor of those who were lost over the last few months. In honor of the elderly and who they once were. This is a post of duty: I should be planting the tomatoes. I should be rewatching My Brilliant Friend. I should be calling a few of my brilliant friends. I should, I should, but I decided, I won’t should on myself. I don’t even feel like writing this post but I will, it … Continue reading →
181. Mother-Daughter Journey: Just Somebody That I Used to Know
…That I used to know… I walked to the local market to pick up a few things, wearing a mask, carrying a tote with wipes, gloves. The world has changed. I wandered the store, picked up what I needed and got on a line that crept down an aisle toward check-out, a line formed by masked, evenly-spaced beads on a necklace. It was slow. Then, Goyte’s song came on: Just Somebody That I Used to Know. There I was grooving to it by the liquid soap, singing along, resonating with it. What the heck: I was wearing a mask like … Continue reading →
The Puzzler #39 & 40-ish: Double Whammy! 5/21/2020 Syndicated & USA Today
Homage to Hammer’s Dairy Restaurant
So many of our memories involve food and this one is no different. This is Steven Hammer, my classmate, a sweet little second grader with red hair. His dad was Bill Hammer, and the Hammer family owned Hammer’s, the dairy restaurant at 243 East 14th Street, off Second Avenue. I don’t think we were in any other classes together, having consulted my stack of class photos, but for some reason, I remember his face so clearly, a seven year old. It was 1955-1956. The class was taught by a wonderful teacher, Mrs. Marion Oppenheimer, who later left to … Continue reading →
The Puzzler #38-ish: 5/11/2020 Syndicated
180. Mother-Daughter Journey: The Same Old Song
Well, friends, this is how it goes. Things are fine and then… I am happy to tell you that my mother has completed two weeks out of the hospital after having had the corona virus. Both of the best aides agreed to work and are living-in, one four days and one three days. The one with her today came for her shift yesterday. They watched old movies, (my mother allowed the television to be on, finally). And, my mother even ate a nice meal. It sounded like a great day! The aide was so pleased. I, however didn’t sleep well … Continue reading →
179. Mother-Daughter Journey: Recovery
It gets you from head to toe Hello, again. I wanted to fill you in on what has been going on. I have been quiet, taking a long-needed break, during my mother’s new 24-hour care which began last Friday, with the second of two aide’s who had been sleeping in. I called a few times to check in and things seemed to be going fairly well. My mother’s physician reported that he had visited and that “she turned a corner.” The clergy from hospice called and reported that she was “very related.” I had two lengthy, actual conversations with my … Continue reading →
Quarantine Pizza: Doh!
My neighbor, Lily, has cooking in her genes and there is rarely a time I don’t smell something divine wafting from her house. She’s been sending over homemade pizza, and in this time of quarantine and pulling inward like turtles, I came across my memories from the early 1980s when I got my Cuisinart food processor and my therapy was bread baking. So many years have passed since my hands were in dough, sticky and happy, fashioning loaves of my fave bread recipe for “Medieval herb bread.” How did I do it? Where were the recipes? I visited my cookbooks, … Continue reading →
A New, New York: Auditory Memories of Old
Those of us New Yorkers who remember the crowds, the density, the light, also remember the sounds; you can hear them via The New York Public Library. Click the link below. Missing Sounds of New York: An Auditory Love Letter to New Yorkers
Continue reading →178. Mother-Daughter Journey: Doublespeak
Yesterday proved to be one of those rollercoaster rides again; everything was fine until the phone rang at 4:45 PM with a call from the coordinator of the aides. “Your mother was approved for two days of service.” My first reaction was that she was approved for two days of service a week, which clearly made no sense. This woman needed to get the schedule in order and I guess the payroll, but this weirdness kept her hanging. So, as usual, and I still can’t figure out why, I had to play middle-woman again. I called the person in … Continue reading →
177. Mother-Daughter Journey: Pieces of the Puzzle
After having received the twenty-four hour care verdict from the Care Manager: one person, live-in, I called for an appeal. I still felt that there should be two-twelve hour aides. I was told a live-in aide needs her own room. How could that work with my mother in a studio? I was worried about losing the two women who were working now. I was fearful of their possibly contracting the virus. I was anxious about of how they would deal with my mother who insists on living in the dark and who seems to wander between two worlds. I was … Continue reading →
176. Mother-Daughter Journey: The Movie Called “Death”
Last night I was emailed by the care manager of the agency that provides the New York State Medicaid that pays for the aides. When my mother was first brought back to NYC, we were, after months of research and paperwork, able to get her an aide for eight hours a day. This came about after months of private pay that drained a life savings, at $6-$8,000/month. It is one of the scariest things an elderly person and their family can go through. She had some subsequent falls and issues and after years, the provided hours went up to … Continue reading →
175. Mother-Daughter Journey: There’s No Place Like Home
My previous blog ended on a mortifying note; I never envisioned my mother in the throes of a sexual encounter, least not with my father, and it is an event that can leave one laughing and crying at the same time. I have thought my mother was near death many, many times in our lives. I am amazed at how strong she is and how she manages to sneak out of the grasp of the Grim Reaper over and over again. Somewhere in this series of blogs I have said that my mother’s motto was “life can turn on … Continue reading →
174. Mother-Daughter Journey: Angels in NYC
This post was begun on Saturday night, April 25, 2020. This evening we ordered dinner in to support our local restaurants but I don’t know what I ate; I was too distracted and had a need to contact Candy, the aide, before she left for the night. Her working a 12 hour shift can’t be easy and after yesterday I wanted to know if things had calmed down. My mother sleeps a lot and sips a little of this and that, certainly barely enough to sustain her, and yet she hangs on. Four o’clock was the witching hour, as it … Continue reading →
Evan Kalish in The Washington Post on the Postal Service
“We talked to Evan Kalish, who is one of the most renowned post office bloggers (yes, there is such a thing) in the country, having visited thousands of post offices, many in rural areas.” [the preceding blue link leads to another article with a reference to Evan. At present he has been to over 10,000 post offices, archived them, and is a historian for The University of California Berkeley where he works on The Living New Deal Project, archiving art and murals created during The New Deal which he finds on his travels.] I will post a link … Continue reading →
The Puzzler #37-ish: 4/25/2020 USA Today
173. Mother-Daughter Journey: Old Age+Covid19=Roller Coaster
I had a request in to my mother’s Managed Long Term Care (Medicaid) for more hours of coverage. Clearly, eleven hours of care would not be enough and as we didn’t know what we were facing, we had to be prepared. I had gone through thousands of her savings over the years all for home care; we had gone through enough money that she had squirreled away when interests rates were high and IRAs and CDs had yields you didn’t laugh at. Gone. Down to a few bucks that were destined for toilet paper and a dish towel. … Continue reading →
172. Mother-Daughter Journey: It’s All Relative
About twenty-four hours ago my mother came back from the hospital. She was seen by a Hospice nurse; I assume hospice has approved her case. Two aides were with her for the entire twenty-four hours. Here’s the rub: She is entitled to eleven hours: Someone has to pay the difference. So far it looks like me. This gets very expensive and can wipe a person out in no time. I am waiting for the managed long term care agency nurse to call me and do an assessment over the phone in hopes that my mother will receive twenty-four hour care. … Continue reading →