Category Archives: Blog

Part 41: The Stuff That Dreams Are Made Of

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One more Mother’s Day. Yesterday morning the bell rang; there was an express mail delivery which contained a Mother’s Day card from my mother’s aide, Cynthia. In it were photos. I had never seen the aide before and I hadn’t seen my mother in a while. It was a surprise–I was startled. I have to say I had a mixed reaction: here is this tiny, frail woman who is still alive, still wants to be alive and is alive because of Cynthia’s perseverance. I recognize her but I don’t, I can’t; it is very bittersweet. When I think of the … Continue reading →

Part 40: Will It Go Round In Circles?

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If I could construct a flow chart of a phone call to an elder lawyer today, you would see circles and arrows and if-then’s and more confusion than you’d care to know about. Just envision your shoelaces tied into thousands of knots. That’s what comes to mind. That’s how I feel, like one of a thousand knots. After a bit more than an hour and a half on the phone, I am just as confused as ever. Perhaps I shouldn’t feel that bad―the elder lawyer had no answers either, just one possible recommendation: that my mother be moved to a … Continue reading →

Part 39: “I Don’t Know How Much Longer I Have”

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My mother has always been very concerned about her appearance. She would get up at 5:00 am to perform her morning ritual of hair and makeup. Choosing her outfit and accessories was a major event. She had to look perfect in order to go down to breakfast. She finally had her hair done last week. She had not gone to the little beauty parlor in the assisted living since the accident on February 9th. I can’t imagine what that was like, to go so long without having her hair perfect, let alone clean. The aide took her down in a … Continue reading →

Part 38: Hear No Evil, See No Evil …

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Thanks, Keith Haring Last Thursday I was supposed to have a phone conference with a Florida elder lawyer in hopes of gaining some insight into my seemingly endless issues. Wouldn’t you know it: she was out sick with laryngitis. The appointment was pushed to next Thursday. I have spent over seven months focusing on my mother and her health, day and night, giving up sleep, food, my peace of mind. I walked around with my stomach in knots, I suffered from strange ocular migraines. In short, I was on the road to doing myself in. A few phone calls ago, … Continue reading →

Part 37: Whirling Like a Dervish

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I feel like a whirling dervish: we all know what it feels like to be so confused that our heads spin, literally, the feeling can make us dizzy and nauseous. The flip-flopping, the weighing of choices. It’s overwhelming. I just want to do the right thing, to make my mother comfortable, to keep her out of a nursing home if at all possible. But there are so many if’s. I am going to speak to an elder lawyer in Florida by phone on Thursday. I just need some direction. Whatever I look at, think about, or weigh all ends up … Continue reading →

Part 36: Paying the Rent, Gritting My Teeth

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I am so sick of writing checks to this place, I cringe when I take out the check book, what a waste of my mother’s precious funds that are draining like water from a holey bucket. I Wish I knew a lawyer with a big mouth and a mighty pen. There are so few truthful staff members. I just keep encountering one doublespeaker after another. Yesterday there was a rat that came out in the evening. It ate through a box of oatmeal and a PLASTIC container of cookies. A trap was set but it was too big and escaped. … Continue reading →

Part 35: … and Diffusing Bombs

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Dealing with my mother’s assisted living Another day, another problem with my mother’s assisted living facility. I feel that everyone who works in that place has several jobs: the one assigned and the one to cover their butts. I contacted an ombudsman who visited my mother and her aide last week so that my mother’s grievances could be aired. That included: rats (I have caught the maintenance guy in lies in regard to the issue of vermin) a broken garbage disposal (promised to be fixed weeks ago) a cracked sink bowl (I doubt they will ever replace this as it … Continue reading →

Part 34: Untangling a Week of Explosions

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This past week will go down in my book as being one of the most surreal, odd, and disturbing: The tone was set by the horrific marathon bombings in Boston leaving us in disbelief. The events played out minute by minute by the media and as they unfolded I wanted to ask, “who wrote this story; it surely had to be made up?” It was the strangest five days of ghastly events, lows and highs, from explosions to veritable celebrations once the second of two suspects was captured. And let’s not forget the fertilizer plant in Texas that blew up,  … Continue reading →

Part 33: Saving a Princess

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My little Princess Blue This morning we picked up Princess Blue from the vet. She has been languishing in the bottom of a cage for weeks. She has been spayed, inoculated and found to have a cancerous mammary tumor which was removed; in short, she’s been through a lot. She has also been found to be FIV+, the equivalent of  HIV, however, cats are able to live with the virus for many years. We drove fifty miles out to the animal sanctuary that one of my cat rescue friends was nice enough to help us get into. Chris Arnault is … Continue reading →

Part 32: Gray Clouds and Tunnels

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<Play in his puffier youth Here we go again … this poor little guy who I have been injecting twice daily with insulin for diabetes came home and began to sneeze his head off. He’d be OK for a while and then a violent series of CHOO! CHOO! with spray all over. By yesterday, the vet tech’s suggestion that it was an “allergy” didn’t fly and I called the vet to ask what to do. You know what the answer was: “Bring him in.” You know what my response was,”It took an hour and a half to wrestle him in … Continue reading →

Part 31: Life in the Eye of a Tornado: Mothers, Dishwashers, Sanctuaries and Sneezing Cats

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An update on my life in the eye of a tornado … This series of blogs began when I reported that my mother had an accident and went to the hospital, was released to rehab, sent to the ICU back at the hospital, sent to another rehab (we thought was better from the ratings) and was neglected and diminishing daily. She was sent home at my request; rehab wasn’t rehabbing, she was just too weak. She was released to Vitas Hospice care. I thought it was the end. She seems to be rebounding. She currently has someone living-in with her. … Continue reading →

Part 30: Anxiety du Jour: Escape to: Mekong, Cupcakes, Ebony Hillbillies (felines follow)

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I am trying to get a hold of my anxieties, corral all the “what-if’s” and put them aside for now. It’s not easy. I am listening two two courses from The Great Courses, on Mindfulness, an Introduction to Meditation, and Stress and Your Body. Now that I know I am capable of doing myself in by worry–which I know intellectually does no one any good, I am trying to do something about it. Death by worry isn’t worth while and anxiety can be so overwhelming, as I am listening to these courses I find I am not alone; there are … Continue reading →

Part 29: Running Away to Brooklyn: Finding Solace in Art … and in Hot Pastrami

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1. Brilliant painting Time for a break from ringing phones, and sick pets. My break of choice is in Brooklyn: a little culture never hurt anyone and it was opening day for the John Singer Sargent watercolor exhibit  at the Brooklyn Museum. It  will travel to Boston and Houston. Some works by Sargent. His work in water colors with variation of translucence and opacity, some with the technique of wax resist creates wonderful texture and light.   2. Brilliant Photography In addition, the very haunting photography exhibit of La Toya Ruby Frazier should not be missed.   LaToya Ruby Frazier, … Continue reading →

Part 28: CATch as CATch Can

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Ampersand and Play, brothers in their youth One of my big stressors was knowing that I had to bring my cat back to the vet. There were three kittens: Romp, And and Play. And became Ampersand. My neighbor adopted Romp. I rescued them with their mother from my yard in 2005. Play was always the thin one, but he had gotten up to about seventeen pounds three or four years ago; it was hard to pick him up. Then it seemed like he was getting thinner and thinner, drinking a lot of water, always hungry. I suspected diabetes and cringed … Continue reading →

Part 27: “Somebody Help me! I Don’t Know Where I am!”: Doctor Who

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The famous Doctor Who: there are many, the series began in 1963, Matt Smith is the current Doctor Who’s Who? A Parade of Doctors Who, fifty years worth The premier episode that aired Saturday March 30 Saturday evening began the latest incarnation of Doctor Who in all his magic screwdriver glory, starring Matt Smith. I was never a fan of the cult classics but my son piqued my interest and I was sucked into the black hole of the first episode, The Bells of St. John. It’s complicated. Doctor Who is a bit of a nerdy goofball who never ceases … Continue reading →

Part 26: Running Away to Brooklyn: Whose Journey Is This Anyway?

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The Gothic Gates of Green-Wood Cemetery   Statue of Minerva, in line with and waving to the Statue of Liberty in the harbor         It is Easter weekend and I took a short break: a day in Brooklyn on a tour at the famous Green-Wood Cemetery where everyone imaginable and unimaginable is buried. This is a huge place founded in 1838, a National Historic Landmark of 478 acres filled with paths, ponds, fountains, hills, valleys and the most marvelous statuary. It currently is the home of 560,000 permanent residents, including Leonard Bernstein, Boss Tweed, Charles Ebbets, Jean-Michel … Continue reading →

Part 25: Life Is A Blur

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My days have melded, one into the next. The last six months have seemed lost. I don’t recall many details–wait, there was the great kitten rescue from October through December, but for the most part, I feel I have been battered by the endless stress of sorting information, of problem solving, of managing finances, of hiring aides, of standing up to some bullies, of dealing with people who have mastered the art of doublespeak. In the middle of all this, this meaning a phone that is rarely on the hook, of folders of information and data and details and notes … Continue reading →

Part 24: The Bottom Line

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   Friday, March 22, 2013 In 2007 I began blogging on Yahoo 360° and within a couple of years the platform closed, likely due to a bottom line: a blog site wasn’t generating enough money. Many of us discovered Multiply.com and we moved en masse and set up home on a great site that allowed us not only to blog, but to message one another, store media and set up creative personal, multimedia sites; it was a mix of social site similar to Facebook but a lot nicer, and blogging site. It was great, but I think as time passed … Continue reading →