Friday, March 22, 2013

In 2007 I began blogging on Yahoo 360° and within a couple of years the platform closed, likely due to a bottom line: a blog site wasn’t generating enough money. Many of us discovered Multiply.com and we moved en masse and set up home on a great site that allowed us not only to blog, but to message one another, store media and set up creative personal, multimedia sites; it was a mix of social site similar to Facebook but a lot nicer, and blogging site. It was great, but I think as time passed those who were not truly interested in blogging got tired and fizzled out. Those of us who were committed to staying kept on posting but had less and less visitors to comment. Which was OK if you enjoyed writing and having all your media in what was thought of as a safe storage place. I  paid about twenty dollars yearly and thought it was a good deal.

Then there was another bottom line: the company that created Multiply, located in Florida, decided to sell to a company in the Philippines. We were assured that the blogging portion would continue while they created the next ebay-like venue in Southeast Asia. But by the time we realized what was happening, we were doomed. The new company announced they were ditching us writers and that they were going to be bigger and better than any on-line selling experience ever. It took seven months of deconstruction to kill the blogging portion of the site while we all scrambled to download our work and save our memories. There was no attempt to sell the blogging portion to another company that might have been interested, no interest whatsoever. They were done and so were we; as of yesterday. It was all about money.

I packed and moved here with as much as I could digitally carry; it took MONTHS of work for days on end, and set up a similar home and I pay to be here. Nothing, my friends, is free, everything has its price and that is reinforced on a daily basis.

Today I had a  medical appointment and was given a med for my>> ocular migraines. <<(great visuals in this article, click link). No wonder I get them, stress and fatigue are triggers.

“Why are you suffering?” asked my doctor, “take something.” But because I come from a mom who is a relative naturopath and I fear side effects, I questioned all the contraindications and then give in. I have had this issue since the fall and it’s wearing me thin. I’ll give it a shot and hope for the best. My once low blood pressure is creeping upwards and my doctor whom I love and who is my peer kept looking at me during our conversation and saying, “stress,” as he shook his head. Doctors are stressed, too, they are the most regulated industry in the country and are being squeezed professionally and and financially. It’s all going to change even more next month, or so I was told by an agency I consulted to get my mother benefits. No one knows what is going to happen. But my doctor described it visually with his two hands going up and down like scales: those on the top end of coverage come down so those on the bottom come up.

The doctor was also very honest with me and brought me back to reality. I told him that my mother was ninety-five years old, is recovering from pneumonia, has had a fractured arm, is too weak to function independently, was seventy-five pounds a week ago and is on Hospice care. He told me from experience that my mother didn’t have long. We just don’t know how long, and she deserves to have the best care possible while she is still here.

Getting back to yesterday …

I was unable to write yesterday, I was just too drained. I was able to go out to dinner and enjoy it–if I kicked myself under the table and said, in sotto voce: stop thinking! What began as a fairly quiet day picked up speed as it progressed and revved me up to a Harley-Davidson heart rate.

It’s all due to the bottom line.

I got a call from my mother’s insurance company which consisted of an interview on my mother’s journey over the last month and a half. She has an old long term care policy which I almost stopped paying a couple of years ago because I couldn’t see the benefit, but now I am glad I continued. The bottom line here: she has been paying thousands of dollars for thirty+ years and what will she get back if she submits a claim for a home health aide? A maximum of three years coverage at sixty dollars a day.

Why am I up at night? Rent is the “assisted” living, where she is not on any “level of care” of assistance gets raised annually while I see a decline in service. It is almost $2,600. Remember those photos I posted of her wretched bathroom sink? She gets “meals” which she doesn’t eat and light housekeeping and laundry service.  The rent  is the first given. The second given is that she needs twenty-four hour care. I believe workers should be paid what they deserve, I have no qualms about that. But, the bottom line is, for two to three shifts of care it is three hundred and thirty six dollars a day. Do the math: that is $10,000+ per month in addition to the rent. How are people supposed to afford this? If you are a working class person and manage to squirrel away some funds for your old age, aka your “golden years,” this is what it goes towards and then you have the fear that whatever you have will run out and then what? You are in a nursing home on Medicaid.

So, in my sleep I juggle figures and scenarios. I am hoping that the woman who is doing a great job will stay as a live-in which will cut the cost. This amazing woman said that if things could be worked out she would commit to take care of my mother until one of them died. I spoke to the head of the agency and mentioned that my sister had access to a family owned condo  in another city and perhaps that was the answer: moving to a bigger place for less money. The head of the agency said that she would look into the area closer by and see if she could get something in a fifty-five or older community for even less. I was shocked and touched that she would offer but then again, she has a bottom line too. With a lowered rent there will be more money for care.

As I was writing this I spoke to my mother’s home health aide and the report is that my mother gained three pounds. She now weighs seventy-eight. But she still has a bad cough and requires oxygen treatments every few hours. Whether she is strong enough for a move remains to be seen. She was open to the suggestion. Still flexible at ninety-five.

Will she survive? Just a bit longer? Months? A year?

I just ordered a juicer and it will be shipped down. Maybe juicing some fresh fruits and vegetables will help. That’s her aide’s idea.

It’s always about health or money.

There is always a bottom line.

This series is linked: see “continued here.” Also, below the line there will be links for the previous post and the next.

The series starts here

continued here