So, dear friends, it has been a while and there has been a lot going on which has stretched me thin. This will be a two-part blog, the second being under a new category, or rather an old one; please be patient. Today’s theme came to me after I took Robert’s little, old, flip phone and turned it on. It’s a small device that he had for many years, not wanting to give it up for anything more complicated. It booted up, still worked fine as it sat in my hand. A cell phone. A device used for linking people, … Continue reading →

So, here we are, room 213B. Robert’s room looks out on the nurse’s station. The nurse’s station keeps an eye on him as he fell out of bed three times in the past.  I caught it at a moment when the hustle and bustle had died down. Where was everyone? It is not quiet, never quiet. There is always beeping or chatter or laughing, always a din that lives in the walls and invades sleep and rest, but, eventually, the patients become immune, deafened like they’ve never heard it and the visitor’s nerves remain jangled, and will never get used … Continue reading →

Just to tell you. Robert is eating less than 50% of what is served, and sometimes nothing at all. The facility wanted to send him to the ER for hospital admission for a feeding tube. It ain’t gonna happen. I told the nurse with a witness on the line: Do Not Resuscitate, Do Not Intubate. No feeding tubes going down the nose and into the stomach. No. No. I repeat: NO. He is on “compassionate care.” He is to be made comfortable. If he wants to eat, he eats. If he doesn’t want to, he doesn’t have to. Give fluids, … Continue reading →

    Last Thursday evening was uplifting: it was the C.C.N.Y Alumni Service Award ceremony on Zoom. After the minutes were gone over and approved, six alumni members and two staff members received recognition. Robert was from the oldest class, 1969; his bio was read by another alumni member. I had no idea how the introduction would work and I hadn’t prepared an acceptance speech, so I, a speech major, did it on the fly, and augmented the bio which was based on Dalton’s nomination for the Architecture School Award. I went on to speak about Robert’s incredible amount of … Continue reading →

Where have I been over the last two weeks or so? Still requesting, storting, organizing paper. Still going to banks, getting forms signed, signatures verified. And at times, I have had meltdowns. It’s all part of grieving. When you are faced with a loss of any kind, you are spun around and dumped into a chasm of confusion, gobsmacked by life that has just made a surprise attack on the illusion of your well-being. Sometimes well-being isn’t even that. Sometimes well-being is the thought of what is; it is an acceptance of the present. And then there is a surprise … Continue reading →