Tag Archives: husband journey

234.→Husband Journey: Emotion Linked by Photographs

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  Dear Alan and Jerri, Today I woke to sun and birds and rolled over, in peace and quiet, a moment of serenity, and fell asleep again until about 10:00. I am peaceful until I am officially “up” and I drag myself out of bed to face another day. I opened the door to find today’s The Times and a mailer tube, which I assumed was for Evan and then was surprised to find it was from you. On one end, there was criss-crossed tape and adhered to it were 4 tiny insects that somewhere along the journey had hitched … Continue reading →

233.→Husband Journey: The Soda Scheme

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August 1, 2019 Taken at a café in Queens, NY, The French Workshop French Sodas (iPXsMax)   Yesterday I had a nice phone chat with the speech therapist at Robert’s facility. She went and got the things I had mentioned that I had brought and used them; the award letter, the book of art to stimulate conversation. She asked questions, Robert told her that she didn’t have to quiz him. I suppose he knows things are different, that everyone is coming at him with questions, but with questions come tension: he is put on the spot and it is hard … Continue reading →

232. →Husband Journey: Letting Go Of Collections…and People

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Once a saver … letting go…part of the collection I’ve amassed “He cannot be left in the room unattended.” I suppose that since Robert is now out of quarantine, he has joined the ranks of the triaged in rehab. This morning I received a FaceTime call and was linked to Robert who was near a window lined with plants in what seemed to be a large, light-filled room. (turned out to be “the dining room”) We looked at one another. He viewed himself on the screen. He said he looked good. (I cringed.) Of course you do, I said, why … Continue reading →

231. →Husband Journey: 107 to 118

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  And so for an update. Robert has been moved up a floor to the second. Apparently he had been in quarantine for two weeks despite his two negative Covid tests at The Hebrew Home: he came from “the outside” and that is the protocol. “Did you know we have to use a Hoyer lift?” said the nurse on duty during a call. So that is what it is. A Hoyer lift, that device for people who can’t move themselves. No, I answered, and I am not surprised. Robert needs TOTAL care. No, he cannot stand, or walk. No, he … Continue reading →

229.→Husband Journey: Home Is Where the Art Is

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I have published a book of Robert’s art works     The Robert update: Well folks, after a talk with the physical therapist, occupational therapist and speech therapist, as well as the social worker, on Thursday, 3/4, all of my observations made from afar were validated and I learned much more. This is, to me, is the saddest of situations: Robert is refusing to participate in physical therapy. He is oppositional to the occupational therapist. The speech therapist, also observes that tight, jaw-clench, facial grimace and growl. Everyone is scratching their heads; they don’t know what to do. Those who … Continue reading →

226.→Husband Journey: The Sans Souci Art Museum [Gallery 5]

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  Welcome to the 5th Sans Souci art gallery. This section of the museum will close after this exhibit. But save your ticket, you will be returning. The stories will continue. A health update: I have had one FaceTime call which upset me. Robert’s voice is weaker. The man who never shut up, who knew everything, who read every page of The New York Times, daily, had little to say. The onus is on the caller to be neutral and to keep things rolling. Robert does not initiate, ask questions, offer much beyond “OK.” He’s been working on intonation in … Continue reading →

225.→Husband Journey: The Sans Souci Art Museum [Gallery 4]

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  The Robert Update: Robert has tested negative for Covid twice which gives him the “freedom” to move out of a Covid facility and back to where he had come from in Queens, however, at the time of this writing, the social worker from where he is has not had any communication from the Queens facility since she left a message last Friday. I would just as soon he stay in a rehab at his resent location in the Bronx, for now, as I can’t visit him anyway. All this moving is very disorienting to everyone involved. I asked for … Continue reading →

224.→Husband Journey: The Sans Souci Art Museum [Gallery 3]

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From health update to trip to the Sans Souci Museum featuring Robert’s art. Last Friday’s Covid swab results finally came in, days later: negative. We are still in limbo. He has to return to the previous rehab; the current facility is not taking new patients. The previous facility is where he got Covid and had three falls from bed. Who know what is happening today? He’s become a nomad. And note: the word mad is in nomad. For several days I tried to reach him; he doesn’t answer the phone assigned to him. I leave messages for the staff to … Continue reading →

223. →Husband Journey: The Sans Souci Art Museum [Gallery 2]

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Health update to art show … It is February 2, 2021. Yesterday there was a heavy, sideways-snow covering us. I am in one borough of NYC, Robert is in another and has been for weeks. He’s been sent hither and yon into the hospital, then a rehab, back to the hospital, to another rehab. He tested positive for Covid on January 4th: he contracted it while in the rehab. We have become untethered: His brain is slowly unwinding. This past year it became most obvious and then the process began to speed up in June and more-so in September. He … Continue reading →

222. Mother-Daughter→Husband Journey: The Sans Souci Art Museum [Gallery 1]

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  From health update to trip to the Sans Souci Museum featuring Robert’s art.   There is nothing new to report except that yesterday, the physician’s assistant I spoke to indicated that those who are in the Covid unit are treated for Covid and all other issues are secondary. Life is on hold. A person can test positive for covid for weeks after infection. Finally, the team meeting is scheduled for Monday afternoon. I’ll see what the plan is. I find myself looking back at creations that touched me in earlier days. Bring together color, tactility, words and a special … Continue reading →

221. Mother-Daughter→Husband Journey: What, Me Worry?

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  Well friends, it has been almost a week since Robert arrived to The Bronx rehab. I was supposed to receive a call from his “team.” I never did. Oh “tomorrow.’ I never did. Sunday I received a call from the social worker on his “team.” I was promised a call Monday. I never received one. So I called. As it turned out the same social worker was eventually on the list I bounced around on. “Oh yes, Denise, We spoke yesterday, you said you were going to go to my husband’s room with a phone and call me.” (How … Continue reading →

220. Mother-Daughter→Husband Journey: 112

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  Where was I? Oh, that wonderful young man, who, through serendipity and synchronicity, came forth from the ether and airwaves with a story that linked to mine; we both knew my husband in different ways, we were both bound through threads that run from the past to the present and even to the future. The common denominator was Robert whose prescience to save and gift a history of the evolution of the CCNY School of Architecture brought the Robert of the 1960s to life. When one gets Covid, so it has been explained by a doctor friend, one can … Continue reading →

219. Mother-Daughter→Husband Journey: Synchronicity

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  The Present As of last night when I received yesterday’s Covid report, Robert was still positive. It has been two weeks since the first positive Covid test. I have no report today, so far, I was unable to get through to speak with a nurse, AP or Robert. But here is something for your edification: a window into three days the in the ER, when Robert never got a room at the beginning of December. Since that time he has been in a rehab facility and subsequently, due to injurious falls, and then Covid, he’s been in the hospital … Continue reading →

218. Mother-Daughter→Husband Journey: Alright!

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  It is 1:00 PM on January 14, 2021 and I am aware of the pressure to write this, I have until 3:00 when my email notifications are auto-sent when I post and I want to write this, I need to write this because I am feeling, as usual, a daily agitation about the unknown. Robert is still hospitalized. He is still testing positive for the Coronavirus. He makes no attempt to call. Calling him is difficult: his little flip phone likely is laying somewhere without a charge, he may not remember how to use the phone near his bed  … Continue reading →

217. Mother-Daughter→Husband Journey: No Boundaries

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It is day eight of Robert’s Covid illness, and he has been in the hospital since the two falls out of bed on December 30th. Was this inevitable, were the two falls preventable? Obviously he contracted Covid in that rehab or else in the ER. It feels like we have been shoved down a strange, dark path, bumping into a forest of eery growth and underbrush that trips us at ever step. The situation is so incomprehensible, so deeply scary and beyond expectancy, it is an endless Halloween trick without a treat in sight. Masks and all. It is what … Continue reading →

216. Mother-Daughter→Husband Journey: Be Prepared

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    i was never a Girl Scout. I wanted to be, I wanted that moniker, which, to me had such panache, but I settled for a play-group that was likely just as much if not more fun. Fun. Trying to recall what that little 3-letter word means. For now there have been issues weighing heavily on me and I needed information. Heavy information. What called me to arms? I finally, after hours of making attempted calls got through to Robert via a nurse. I could barely hear him. I tried to tell him about the latest news, about what … Continue reading →

215. Mother-Daughter→Husband Journey: I Don’t Know

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Good morning from my world that is stranger than fiction. Yesterday, Monday, I received a call in the morning informing me that Robert was going to be discharged. He wants to come home. He can’t come home, he was in a rehab facility. Oh, I’ll call you back. I never received a call. I connected with the rehab, they knew nothing. “Always call the hospital first.” Let me ask you a question. (I got it in:) “Why did my husband roll out of bed three times? Don’t you have bed rails? Well get this: the answer is NO. That is … Continue reading →

214. Mother-Daughter→Husband Journey: 2021 Begins Here

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What’s old is new again. First: a very happy and healthy 2021 to all who have come and visited. To those who came and left your mark; thank you. I read every comment and will not respond here (as I am not sure you’d know to return) but will drop you a note if you leave your contact info. Let me fill you in. Robert is losing bits of himself each day. As time passes he becomes more and more unrecognizable physically and mentally. There are moments of brightness, sparks of remembrance, spurts of humor. But, he is peeling. His … Continue reading →

213. Mother-Daughter→Husband Journey: Escape

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  In my quest to find a theme for my post I didn’t have far to look. There seems to be a Universal need to break free, from this year, from this virus. From restrictions. In a nearby neighborhood a GOP group celebrated, without masks or rules, and had dinner in a restaurant: a conga-line of dancers snaked around the place behind a person carrying a Trump banner. For my mother it was the escape from her old, broken body. She is gone since November 6, forty-six days. There are times when I think of calling her to find out … Continue reading →