Here I was living my La-di-da-life, thinking that all had been solved, that everything had become worry-proof, that my mother was so much better: She fooled me! The aide texted me and asked me to call my mother, who was seemingly cogent, asking for the family, how were we all, what was going on? Offering unsolicited advice: You should do this or that or the other… But then the threads of the weave began to wear and fray. This is the way things go. The illusion, then, the wearing. The edges of the fabric begin to pull.  They don’t … Continue reading →

    Happy July 4th, friends, it’s been a while and time for an uplifting report during these strange times of pandem-onium. I have backed off and away from communicating with my mother as often as I had, or thought I had: it was just too much. For me. I hadn’t spoken to her for over a week; no one called me. I believe the doctor has found the best medicine for my mother. It has calmed her. She is acting more “normal.” There is no more crazy agitation, no more screaming. There is gratitude: “I have the best nurse … Continue reading →

  And so it goes, post 192 is still about my mother, no caterpillars, no butterflies. On Friday and Saturday mornings the aide contacted me with issues and I called my mother in the middle of rant-fests and temper tantrums. As control is wrested from her she is more and more agitated, hallucinations take over and become her reality: strange observations, distortions and bizarre manifestations. “Hello!? This is Pauline! Call the police! Call the police! She is trying to kill me. She is crazy, I’m not crazy!” The only one who is crazy is moi. Listening to this insanity, feeling … Continue reading →

    Phil Perez   I had a phone conversation with my mother yesterday, it lasted about one hour and fifteen minutes. She processed, she responded, she absorbed, she was pleasant for a good part of our talk that went all over, that traveled through time and space. She accepted the bed bumpers and how they should be placed, although, earlier, she insisted the aide wash and dry the sheets, again, we are back to that, because they were wet. But weren’t really. She told me she is constantly dreaming about crazy things sometimes embarrassingly sexual things, she wouldn’t expand … Continue reading →

  Several days have passed since my last post. Two days ago I received a call from the case manager of the long term care company. She had gotten a call from the company that assigns the aides to my mother. My mother is not sleeping, hence neither are the aides. The care manager wanted me to go back and petition the company to review their decision of not splitting the shift” My mother needs someone to be up with her at night, the twenty-four hour decision is essential but not addressing all the needs of everyone involved. I have … Continue reading →

Good morning. As tired as I am having been up since about 3:00 am, my wheels were turning and so were my mother’s. To fill you in, yesterday was quiet, and I stepped out of my comfort zone to contact the aide and learn the latest: My mother has a voracious appetite and is eating and eating. She is likely now under eighty pounds and maybe making up for the weeks she was ill. Or, Is that due to meds? Or has she been burning up all of her energy from so much self-induced agitation? She was up all night, … Continue reading →

  Memorial Day, 2020 In honor of those who have served the country and who still do. In honor of those who serve others. In honor of those who were lost over the last few months. In honor of the elderly and who they once were.   This is a post of duty: I should be planting the tomatoes. I should be rewatching My Brilliant Friend. I should be calling a few of my brilliant friends. I should, I should, but I decided, I won’t should on myself. I don’t even feel like writing this post but I will, it … Continue reading →