Well, friends, I’ve had a short respite and here I am again. The commode still hasn’t arrived, but is finally, due to arrive tomorrow. [Addendum: I just received a call from the health supplier who was to deliver the new commode: The driver delivered it, said his job was not to install it, didn’t do it properly, hence my mother refused it. After months of waiting. To be continued.] So, what’s the latest? Play-Doh. Actually, Play-Dough. Hang on, I’m going to explain. I began receiving calls from my mother last week about theft. She has been talking about all kinds … Continue reading →

    At 10:23 AM the phone rang; the caller ID was that of my mother. I had a choice: answer the phone or not. If I choose not, I hang on every ring and listen to the message being poured into the answering machine, it will go on for two minutes, then get cut off;  I will sit there ruminating on what I’ve heard. It will haunt me. If I answer, I pay the price immediately. I paid the price immediately. Most of the time when my other calls, there is an air of urgency with underlying fear, if not … Continue reading →

During the last week or so I have been receiving phone calls from my mother. My mother calls frequently to make sure that if there is something she needs I am on it a.s.a.p. She called and told me to get her a new commode. The instructions were to call her long-term care, but I knew before hand that just sending out the command does not get the order placed. You need a PRESCRIPTION. You need a CODE. Invariably, as this time, it doesn’t go through because something is missing or wrong and I end up making at least two … Continue reading →

  As you know from previous blogs, my mother had an altercation with an aide and was pushed and fell. At this time I do not have the results of the X-Ray. I have spoken to the police precinct and a report can be filed at any time. They need as much information as possible. I do not know what precipitated this behavior on the aide’s part; I assume my mother said something that ticked her off and she lost it. Really lost it. I do believe that this event happened. I heard my mother recount the story and many … Continue reading →

  And now this. I received a frantic phone message at about 8:30 am from my mother; I heard it after the fact. “S! S! pick up the phone, pick up the phone!” Then I received calls and messages. (I must have been in the bathroom). From the agency that employs the aides. And then I connected with my mother who informed me that: ~the regular aide didn’t come in today ~another aide came late, one who works for her in rotation. My mother complained about this aide last week. She said she left food garbage on the floor and … Continue reading →

  It’s time to write about my mother. I’ve diverted myself with photography projects and crossword puzzles; life is so much easier without facing what is happening. In the photo above, I am a child running, with glee, from my mother. If the Universe could take a photo now, what would be captured is my mother running from me. In the photo above there is joy and a moment of independence. Security. the child knows the mother is behind her. If the photo were taken now, the daughter, behind the mother would have a look of dismay, upset, pain. The … Continue reading →

  What does it take to feel relief? For one, there is a feeling that everything is OK. That issues are resolved or in the process of being so. For months each year I have to badger support services to act on situations that are in THEIR purview, but I somehow end up the go-between, bouncing for hours between agencies, nicely getting the brush-off so that I don’t even realize that a lot of what I am being handed via being yessed to death is BULLSHIT. There is the doctor’s office in my mother’s building, the care agency that handles … Continue reading →

“She Said, She Said” John Lennon / Paul Mccartney She said, “I know what it’s like to be dead. I know what it is to be sad.” And she’s making me feel like I’ve never been born. I said, “Who put all those things in your head? Things that make me feel that I’m mad.” And you’re making me feel like I’ve never been born. “She said, “You don’t understand what I said.” I said, “No, no, no, you’re wrong. When I was a boy everything was right, Everything was right.” I said, “Even though you know what you know, … Continue reading →