The thing with the elderly is this: everything can be fine one minute and wacky the next. It’s like dealing with a person with a borderline personality disorder; they can easily lash out at the people they have the closest relationship with and that is because paranoia takes over, mistrust and miscommunication is common as are mood swings. And, it is said that whatever a person is like in younger years, traits are exaggerated in the older years. My mother began to function better once home from her month-long hospital stay. Returning home was disorienting but in many ways it … Continue reading →

    Luckily, my mother’s doctor gave me his cell phone number and told me to text him if necessary. I told him las night that my mother should NOT be discharged today, not in this weather and not in her physical shape. He agreed. After dealing with the heartless, bureaucratic folks over at the hospital I thought that pleading my mother’s case—not to be thrown into the freeze—would be futile, BUT, I called this morning, told her that I had spoken to the doctor and that we conferred that my mother should not be discharged.   “OK.” And I … Continue reading →

… this. Yesterday, Saturday, 12/30, twenty-four hours after the visit to my mother that left me in a sleepless fog, the phone rang. I had just gotten out of the shower. The caller ID displayed the name of the hospital.  My gut was alarmed. I answered. It was my mother. She has my number perfectly memorized, even with the addition of the nine before the number to get a line out. “Hi, it’s mommy.” Her voice sounded stronger. How are you? What are you doing? “I just got out of the shower, I’m OK.” “Oh then don’t let me keep … Continue reading →

s. kalish/key west 2007   Well, so much for escape and diversion. One of my biggest anxieties is that the phone might ring in the middle of the night. I am not sure which is worse: having a nurse call at 3:00 am or my mother; neither is a good sign. Note, this is MY anxiety, it hasn’t happened. Guilt got me. I hadn’t spoken to my mother in a couple of days and I was beginning to get a strange feeling in my gut two night ago at around 9:00 pm. The phone rang. It was my mother. This … Continue reading →

I posted my previous blog and realized that I was carrying around some information that I buried. I received this information shortly after my mother entered the hospital a little over a week ago. Because my mother has a pelvic fracture, and due to the fact that the x-rays were not clear, a sonogram was performed. That’s when the position of the fracture was revealed. And then someone at the hospital called me to add that a mass was found on my mother’s ovary. They wanted to follow-up with tests. Probably do a biopsy. This info was shared with my … Continue reading →

What I forgot to tell you seems ironically irrelevant at this time, but just as my computer went down a couple of weeks ago, just as I was getting ill, I was in a store when my phone rang. I recognized the number. Let me rewind: For nine months I had been fighting with my mother’s managed long term care (Medicaid) to fill in the hours she lost when she outlived her private pay insurance. This was to no avail despite a “Fair Hearing,” despite several requests for re-evaluations. It left me scrambling to cover meal and bedtime hours and … Continue reading →

The purpose of this post is to catch you up on the continuing saga of weirdness which has been an unreal adventure to me. Last I spoke with you I related that my mother had had an accident and fell, was in the hospital a few days, released. A nurse from the Managed Long Term Care was sent to observe and complete a report; this was done. My feeling was that this was finally a turning point, that the accident and hospitalization would surely change the tide. I submitted a request to the case manager to review my mother’s need … Continue reading →

Last Sunday, my mother was visited by a nurse who was sent by her managed long term care company. The nurse observes, interviews and writes a report which when submitted to the care company can make or break a patient. This was the first time since the original interview that I was present. Several subsequent interviews over the last few years asked the same question and got the same response: Have there been any changes: falls, hospitalizations? No and no. This time it was different. I have been asking the long term care company to fill in the blanks that … Continue reading →